Kicking It In Crazyville

Vanity.... and Graduation

2011-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

Vanity! Vanity! It's all vanity!

Those were my thoughts today as I sat back in my reclining medical chair and let a kindly dermatologist zap my face with a laser. That and "Please, Lord, preserve my vision!" Despite closed eyes and tight-fitting metal goggles, I could still see the light that stung my skin.

Why? Rosacea. And it's free treatment, despite costing about £400 in London. I figured the better question was: why not?

I walked away with a bright red, rather swollen face. After ice packs and some prayer, I'm grateful to report that the medical technician was wrong when he said it would take 2-3 days for the sunburn-like redness to leave my cheeks. I'm back to normal this evening.

But my favorite news of the night is that I've officially graduated from Bible school, even if I'm not officially done with all the work. I still have some assignments to complete, but my pastor apparently wanted to demonstrate the concept of FAITH! And if I slack off, he'll hound me like the persistent widow with the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8)!

2011-04-28T03:05:00.000-07:00

I come to you today, O Lord,

To give up my rights,

To lay down my life,

To offer my future,

To give my devotion, my skills, my energies

I shall not waste time

Deploring my weaknesses

Nor my unfittedness for the work.

I acknowledge your choice with my life

To make your Christ attractive and intelligible

To those around me.

I come to you for spiritual preparation.

Put your hand upon me,

Anoint me with the oil of the One with Good News.

Save me from compromise,

Heal my soul from small ambitions,

Deliver me from the itch to always be right,

Save me from wasting time.

I accept hard work, I ask for no easy place,

Help me not to judge others who walk a smoother path.

Show me those things that diminish spiritual power in a soul.

I now consecrate my days to you.

Make your will more precious than anybody or anything,

Fill me with your power

And when at the end of life’s journey I see you face to face

May I hear those undeserving words,

“Well done, you good and faithful servant”.

I ask this not for myself

But for the glory of the name of your Son. Amen.

~AW Tozer

Clutter

2011-04-27T15:30:00.001-07:00

It never fails to amaze me that while I'm over here in the states and Reese is over there in the UK, God is telling us similar things and we are feeling the same restlessness.

I haven't written in awhile and I'm hoping the end result of this post isn't a rambling mess. Lately I've been feeling extremely unsettled. Some of that is due to circumstances beyond my control and some of that is due to making choices in my life that have led to a very cluttered existence. I'm talking every type of clutter....house clutter, spiritual/emotional clutter and physical clutter.

Overall I'm probably not going to focus on the spiritual/emotional side of things because I think that Reese is doing an amazing job covering what we are both feeling plus I'm just really starting to process some of this stuff myself and not sure I can write it out yet.

I've decided to make some real changes in my home and in my life. After our house fire 2 years ago we lost everything. Truthfully, once I got over the shock of it, it was amazing. We had very minimal clutter in our home and it was so freeing. I vowed to not allow that back. Well, 5 people in a home where both parents work full time and life is crazy, has caused clutter and I can feel it closing in on me. I've started following http://www.flylady.net/. I love her. She tells you every day what part of your house to clean and for someone like me who lives a very crazy, busy life after work I need those little pushes.

I've also found one other blog that is so incredibly sweet. She motivates me in such sweet little ways. She reminds me that slowing down and enjoying the people in your life is what really matters. I'm definitely burnt out with our crazy life style and I'm ready to declutter of all the baggage in every area and start focusing on the important things.

So far that has included taking one extremely large black garbage back of clothes and about 10 games to our local thrift store. I plan on taking more stuff at least every other day and get our items down to an extreme minimal so that I don't have to focus so much time and energy on laundry, dusting, etc. I'm ready to focus on the people in my life and to slow down.

Speaking of people this little one is doing AMAZING!!!!! God is moving in her. She is talking, crawling and blessing every single person she comes in contact with. I can never thank our readers enough for praying for our family during her birth, and after.

Like Reese, I'm not going to make any promises, but it sure feels good to be back and writing again. I've missed it. Maybe now that I'm going to purposefully make different choices I can actually calm my life down enough to post once in awhile.

Serving Leftovers To a Holy God: My Time

2011-04-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

First things first: there will be little-to-no spiritual growth in one's life without reading The Bible on a regular basis. Books by christian authors are great and have their place, but nothing will replace The Bible. Yes, these books enlighten and inspire; The Word of God brings life. When Jesus said He was sending The Holy Spirit after His ascension He said it was to our advantage that He go away and The Holy Spirit come. Think about that for a moment: to our advantage that Jesus go away! How is that possible?! Jesus, as both fully God and fully man, could only be in one place at one time. The Holy Spirit, fully God and not constrained by human boundaries, can be in all places at once. Jesus called Him the Comforter, the Helper, the Counselor. While I'm reading my Bible in England and the Holy Spirit is shining the light of Truth into my heart on a particular passage, He's doing the same thing for Heather in Oregon on a different passage. What a miraculous and beautiful grace our God has for us! He truly has provided all we need for life and godliness!

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3 NLT)

That said, Crazy Love by Francis Chan is a must-read for any christian feeling the tug of the Holy Spirit towards a Christ-centered life rather than a self-centered life. There's a reason it's been on best sellers lists for so long! I believe that this book accurately represents the Movement of Discomfort among God's people.

Chapter 5 is titled "Serving Leftovers To a Holy God" and is worth a read, even now. Click HERE for a link to the chapter, reprinted with permission.

For years I gave God leftovers and felt no shame. I simply took my eyes off Scripture and instead compared myself to others. The bones I threw at God had more meat on them than the bones others threw, so I figured I was doing fine. ~Francis Chan, Crazy Love

Hm. Yep. That's me in most areas of my life. Maybe all areas. The one I am thinking about today is my time.

When I was a kid there was a song by Larnelle Harris that always ran through my head, the lyrics being a message from God and went something like:

I miss my time with you, those moments together. I long to be with you each day and it hurts me when you say you're too busy. Too busy trying to serve Me. But how can you serve Me when your spirit's empty? There's a longing in My heart, a longing for more than just a part of you. It's true, I miss My time with you.

Even now, more than 20 years later, that song runs through my head sometimes and continues to convict me. It was the background music in my head as yesterday my pastor (the amazing Pastor Ken!) referenced Malachi 1:8 and asked bluntly "What sacrifices are you bringing to The Lord?"

Instantly I thought of my time. The Holy Spirit has been calling me to early morning prayer and Bible study for literally years. This is almost laughable when you know me-- I'm usually very sleepy as it is! The very thought of leaving my bed early is actually quite absurd-- but so was the thought of the King and Creator of the universe dying as a human on a splintered cross. Is heeding the call of my 5 am alarm really, truly that absurd?!

But my humanity cries out "No!" I have at least 5 reasons on any given day not to roll out of bed; or worse, not to even set my alarm before bed. It's not essential to my salvation. Plenty of very godly people have devotions at more convenient times. Why would God want me to be tired all day? I'm already getting by spiritually on a fairly healthy level.

It's called sacrifice for a reason. God asks for a "tithe" and the "first fruits" for a reason. The Holy Spirit is calling me for a reason. It's time I find out how my life looks when I obey. And so I post it here: as both a confession and a challenge. Now that it's out there and out of my head, I can deal with it. And you can hold me accountable.

My challenge for you today: in what areas are you serving our Holy God leftovers?

The Hole in MY Gospel

2011-04-24T11:51:00.000-07:00

I've learned my lesson about being hasty and exclaiming "I'M BACK" after a long absence. How many times have I done that here?! Twice? Three times? Ten?

So, I'm not back. Just here, for now. Maybe I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe not. But I will try.

Here's my life, in list form:

I'm attending my church Bible school, part time, and loving it.
I'm shuffling my kids back and forth between school and home.
I'm looking to revamp my life.... as usual!

In the past few years I've read several books that have really changed my perspective and challenged me to reexamine my life: Not For Sale by David Batstone; The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns; Compelled By Love by Heidi Baker; Crazy Love and Forgotten God by Francis Chan; Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream by David Platt; More Than Conquerors: A Call To Radical Discipleship by Simon Guillebaud; books about African culture seem to regularly find their ways into my hands. I can't read these books about the harsh realities faced by christians, trafficked peoples, and the poor in hostile places without comparing my easy, sheltered life and feeling very sick at the blatant contrast.

When in history did it become okay for a christian to pursue comfort? When did it become more strange for a western christian to shun wealth and safety than to live like a non-christian? (And when I say "live like a non-christian" I don't mean being "evil" but being "normal". When did "normal" become acceptable behavior for us?) Why do I fit in with non-believers so comfortably? Does my life more resemble my non-christian neighbors or Jesus'? When did the word "missionary" become dirty? When did Christianity become acceptably private? Am I really achieving my best when the total sum of my witness is not drinking, not cussing and not watching X-rated movies?

How different am I- really- than the world?

And when I ask these questions about myself and don't like the answers, what does a homemaking, military wife do about it?

That's what I want to pursue over the next few posts: how to become all I can for God, from where I am, in the context and position of my life as God has given it to me now. Is it a matter of buying less and giving more? Spending more time before God, crying out for wisdom and opportunities? How am I to speak and act differently in the light of a new way of thinking- a new way of being?

In truth, I think there is a wave of change moving across the Western World. I believe that the People of God are becoming increasingly uncomfortable with our lifestyles and more convicted by The Spirit to step into new and exciting things. I'm going to explore what this might look like for the average person.

I heartily recommend the books I've mentioned here. There's also the subject of human trafficking and how buying fair trade products can make a difference, and what to watch for in our own communities to spot trafficked people. (None of us want to believe it can happen near us, but with 2-4 million men, women, and children trafficked every year, there's a chance you could come into contact with someone who has been victimized.) There are missionaries to be sent and missions to support, children and impoverished communities to sponsor. Skim through these sites: Smile International, Stop The Traffik, World Vision. Over the course of several posts I want to introduce some people I have met who are making a difference in the areas God called them to.

We all have a part. What's yours?

THE Cause

2011-02-12T08:40:00.001-08:00

I'm Glad I Listened to Kris Allen's Album Until I Liked It...

2010-04-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

...'Cause, just being honest, that's about my biggest accomplishment these days. That and breaking a record that I'm sure exists for plays of Ellie Goulding's song Starry Eyed.

Oh, and mopping my kitchen floor on my hands and knees today. That's a good one for the list. Makes me appear very dedicated.

As for reading, I'm halfway through The Appeal, as well as halfway through So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore, and a couple pages into Schindler's List. I want to take a day and just read myself silly, but an endless list of chores faces me daily, and besides that, I fall asleep as soon as I stop moving. That's why I putter around my kitchen most of the day and can't tell you much that I've done. I just have to keep moving.

But God continues to move on my heart with Isaiah 58, expounding to me on what true worship is really about. I believe in corporate worship services, but sometimes I gauge their success on how encouraged and fulfilled I feel at the end. Isn't that often the case? Recently a dear friend was honest and said "I just couldn't get into it" about a particular worship service. I've been there literally hundreds of times. As if it was about me.

Take a look- AGAIN!- with me:

² For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.

³ 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
"Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.

⁴ Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.

⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?

⁶ "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

¹³ "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Corporate worship- singing, clapping, raising our hands, dancing, shouting to The Lord, or however you express your love and dependence on Him- is right and good and appropriate, but is it the only way we worship? How about making our lives a study in living worship, fitting service to a King who bent and washed His disciples' feet, who left all His glory to die a violent death on a tree so that we might be saved? He spent himself on me, is it too much for me to answer His call to spend myself on the hungry, to provide for the wanderer, to clothe the naked?

I'm still asking God exactly how this looks when worked into my life. I know two things for certain: the basis of these acts of worship are based on LOVE (for God and others), and it requires that I am not the first thing on my own mind. I am asking God daily for a surpassing love for those He loves, in all situations, no matter how uncomfortable it may be to me, and that this Love for others comes before thoughts of myself. I want to see the reality of having a priceless treasure in this jar of clay.

And, lastly, I need to share this with you all: I HAVE BEEN HEALED! My neck is 100% healthy and hasn't given me trouble since February. I haven't taken any medication, I can read without pain, prop myself up on my elbows while laying on my tummy, and I have begun jogging again for the first time in years. When some youth leaders and youth prayed for me in February, God healed me. It felt like a deep and private secret between me and my Father for weeks, but He made it clear when I should make it public. I give all the praise and glory to Him who heals! Praise God!

Cheers!

"While I'm Waiting" Music Video- from the movie FIREPROOF

2010-03-13T14:28:00.001-08:00

Have you heard this song? It's amazing! It's on the soundtrack for Fireproof. If you haven't seen Fireproof, you should run, not walk, to the nearest video store and rent it. Everytime I hear the song, I think I should blog about it, but how do I blog about it without being on my own soapbox. It's in my heart, I want it to be the story of my life.

When things are difficult, when I feel that God is silent, do I get angry or do I patiently wait knowing He is in control? I would say that depends. When our house burned I remember watching the fire and saying to God "ok, this is your deal, I can't do this, I can't fix this, I can't control this." There were some tough times but in each and every circumstance surrounding the fire t I felt Him with us. But, when my 2 1/2 month nephew was diagnosed with a terminal illness and when I was being told that he wouldn't live and my heart and my mind couldn't process it, I was angry, I wasn't hopeful or patient or loving. By the time James passed, I was peaceful. I knew who was in control and I was trusting. I couldn't do anything else. When my other sister learned that her child would be born missing one eye, some fingers, with a cleft pallet and a cleft lip and her brain was so squished it almost couldn't be seen on the ultrasound, the anger came back. Once again the love and patience was gone and I was furious. It took awhile, but I am peaceful with the choice of the path for Kenzie's life, and I am trusting for her. I have NO DOUBT, that Jesus loves Kenzie way more then I do and holds her in his arms.

As Christians, we were never promised the easy road but we were promised that God would walk with us. As parents, we can't always protect our children. Some hardships in life mold us into the people we need to be. Looking back over the different difficult times in our lives I can see when Jesus picked us up and carried us when we couldn't walk ourselves. Sometimes it was in the form of our amazing friends who loved us so completely. Sometimes it was in the peace that surrounded us in extremely difficult moments.

I know that I will experience pain and suffering in the future, unfortunately it's life in this world but I hope and I pray that in the future when I do I can say:

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting

~Heather

A Bunch of Randomness

2010-03-11T09:54:00.000-08:00

This blog was supposed to be titled "10 on Thursday (I'm too late for Tuesday) but now it's Friday and I can't think of 10 - LOL! I was trying to think of what to write to update you on my life since we have been on bloggy-vacation (sometimes I wish I could go on life-vacation!) and decided that my brain is just a muddled mess and it might be best to just list 10 things that have been going on.

1. On (or about) January 1st, my hubby and I watched a DVD by Vegan-Gal.com and we were enlightened. Now, this lady told us everything that Reese has been telling me for years but for whatever reason wasn't getting it. Then we watched the DVD Food, Inc. It's a must get! You can watch it instantly on Netflix if you are a member of Netflix and our eating lives have changed. I am not all the way Vegan but definitely vegetarian, which will shock people off their chairs. I have eaten meat a handful of times since I made this decision and it really grosses me out now - LOL!, plus makes me very sick the times I have eaten it..YUCK! My kids are very unhappy and it's quite the adjustment for them from going from a meat and potatoes home to a veggie & fruit home.

2. Also, around January 1st hubby and I started Financial Peace University. I love Dave Ramsey and have listened to him for years. Dan has never been on board, but boy he is now. We have about 4 classes left and in the last 2 months have paid off 5 of our debts (only 5 more to go, not including the house) and that's a huge accomplishment for us. We are finally on the same page and it's amazing!!!

3. I haven't read any books in months!! I don't know what's wrong with me but I usually go to sleep listening to Dave Ramsey or Judah Smith. I think that by the time my head hits the pillow, I'm too exhausted to even focus to read so these guys just talk me to sleep :)

4. I'm gearing up for my garden this year. Last night Dan & I went to Home Depot and priced how much it's going to cost for him to build me a fence around it. A friend of mine alerted me to buying seeds from this company and I'm putting in my order today. I seriously CANNOT wait!!! I loved it last year, but now that we are primarily eating veggies, it's going to make a huge difference. We also have a Farmer's Market one block from our house. I'm predicting a great summer!

5. Kenzie is doing AMAZING!!! I have the most adorable video of her, but my hubby uploaded it to facebook and then deleted it from his camera. I can't figure out how to get it out of facebook. For those of you who are my friends there, please check out my wall, I'm going to add it there. She can sit for hours at a time and plays with all her toys. She jabbers all the time. She's getting so big and tall and is 19 lbs now. We are so proud of her. Here's a picture of her from Saturday when I went and visited her for a bit.

6. I went with Kyleigh's youth group to Generation Unleashed and it changed our youth group so much! I am so blessed that Kyleigh lets me hang out with her. I know how strange that sounds, but when you have a teenager, you will understand. Our home has turned into the hangout house and I always have 1-2 extras every weeknight and usually an extra 2-3 spending each night on the weekends. It's crazy, but I love it!!! Plus I know where Ky is and what she's doing. I'm blown away by the growth in these girls in the month it has been since GU.

7. Dan took on a second job while we are paying off debt and we both love it. It's actually a process serving job so Dan & I take off for a couple hours a week together and we just get to hang out together. It's so nice for us to spend time together and make extra money at the same time!

I have been working on this for two days and I can't come up with anything more, so there you have it..our life the last couple of months.

Would You Like a Little Tofu With That Whine?

2010-03-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

So what exactly is it that they say about the best laid plans? I think all I've ever heard is "Well, ya know what they say about the best laid plans!...." and (after a mocking chuckle and a shake of the head) "...the best laid plans.....". Personally, if I felt I needed a strong basis for the argument to never plan anything, I'd use James 4:13-16.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.

Being a mist and all, it was probably a bad idea to decide what to make for dinner ahead of time. Of my planned dinners- and this being Wednesday night now- I have made......none. Nada. Not one. Desserts? Nope.

And Monday should have been easy; all I needed to do is defrost the soup I made last week, chop a few veggies, skip the beggar's purses, and butter a few pieces of bread. It's not much, it's certainly not fancy, but it's dinner. Unfortunately, there were a few kinks in the path to a warm tasty dinner on Monday.

The first bump in the road was realized when I rolled over in bed to thank my alarm clock for the 6 am wake up by whacking it in the head. Simply rolling from my left side to my right sent shoots of dull, oppressive pain running through my joints and muscles. My head felt like a fish bowl filled with manky water and big, loose rocks and it seemed that a rodent of some sort had lodge itself in my throat. Swallowing was very near impossible. Every step from the third floor down to the kitchen felt like I was hobbling out of surgery where I'd just been stitched up. It was hideous.

I consider myself to be a moderately strong woman. I'm no Corrie ten Boom, but with time I usually come to grips with tough situations and can take it. No cold/flu can get the best of me! All you really need to know is that in order to endure my load I have to let off steam. Usually that means talking it through regularly (poor Heather knows all about this one- she's most often my ear), but if opening my mouth hurts I'm going to have to vent my frustrations in a more primitive way. Uh-huh. I'm gonna cry.

And cry.

And cry some more.

Then I'll wipe all the tears away and toss the Kleenex in the bin. I'll tighten the belt on my robe, pull up my sleeves and start making The Boys' lunches...... and then I'll cry, maybe even having to throw the soggy bread out and start over with the lunches.

I might even sob a couple times before the Tylenol kicks in.

And then the pain lifted and I was me again. The rest of the morning was normal, except that Ian had an appointment with the allergist. Poor boy got poked and pricked, stuck and squeezed. In the end, it looks like he's still allergic to milk and now we've added peanuts, peas, walnuts, shell fish, and cashews. Uh-oh. There's the vegan version of cream in the corn chowder we're having for dinner, and it's made from- you guessed it- cashews. Bump #2.

Not that it mattered. I made it out of the allergy clinic and down to the pharmacy before I fully realized my pain relievers had worn off. I sat in a chair that had a magical gravitation pull and found that all my limbs had quadrupled in weight, which could only mean that I'd have to die in the chair. I managed to phone Tim to set up weekly visits and the occasional sponge bath when the chills and tears started.

Someone must have been in the back of the pharmacy, watching me and switching the heat off and on, just to see me go from shivering violently under my thick winter coat, to throwing it off and pulling my trousers legs up to my knees to release some heat so that I didn't catch fire. All the while crying, my tears feeling either like hot lava or ice water depending on what the sneaky pharmacy heat guy was doing.

By the time all my mascara was smudged into a tissue and smeared around my eyes, I remembered that an emergency room was just at the end of the hall. I thought if I could break free of the the gravity I might try crawling there, maybe grabbing a nap on the way. Just as I'd gathered my strong womanly resolve to follow my plan, Tim arrived and escorted me to my van, where I took more Tylenol and threw in a Motrin for good measure. Half an hour later I had returned and the shivering, crying lady was gone.

Too bad for the family, she came back right about the time I should have been making dinner. It's still not clear what Kristine made for dinner, but I suspect it was here specialty: mac 'n cheese from a box. Put differently, Zach and Ian couldn't/wouldn't eat dinner that night. Nice. While mom slept. Really nice. NOT!

I am happy to report that the chills and aches are gone and it's only a sore throat and ears that bother me now. Still not sticking to my menu plan, not through today, anyway. But, to quote another strong and whiny woman, "Tomorrow is another day"!

And, yes, I will take a bit of tofu with my whine. Thank you.

Menu Plan Monday

2010-03-07T09:49:00.000-08:00

I'm jumping into my attempt at a more organized lifestyle- and my rededication to food blogging- by posting this week's menu. I'm skipping Saturday for now; I'm sitting on my bed on the third floor and the kitchen's on the first floor. You don't need to ask if I'm feeling too lazy to go down and take a gander through the pantry. Frankly, I'm impressed that I've planned five day's worth!

Monday: Corn Chowder (vegan version from The Conscious Cook), Sweet Onion Beggar's Purses (also from TCC), rolls, carrot and celery sticks. Dessert: mince tartlets

Tuesday: Individual pizzas. Dessert: banana "cheese"cake (Conscious Cook)

Wednesday: Black bean burritos with chips and salsa. Dessert: sweet potato blondies (Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar)

Thursday: Veggie chili with corn bread. Dessert: pumpkin brownies (Vegan Cookies...)

Friday: Paninis and homemade potato salad

As soon as I start posting at my food blog I'll add the link here.

Cheers!

2010-03-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

My life has been very typically My Life: chaotic, unplanned and flying by at an insane pace. Seriously, where does the time go? Where is all the time that was supposed to be available to me once all my kids were in school?

A very strong and convincing case could be made that if I was more organized/scheduled/Type A/anal I could get much more done. Yeah, yeah. I know. But where's the fun in that? On the other hand, where's the stress in that? Likely, nowhere at all.

So, I'm going to try to schedule my time better. And post it here so that I can be transparent...accountable...waste more time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing...

So, first things first: My Goals:

Make some money
Keep my house somewhat organized
Develop my photography skills
Read more
Spend time baking and cooking and blogging about it (more on that later)
Volunteer for the homeless, needy, etc.

How I plan to accomplish this:

Organize my days, balancing what needs to be done with what I want to do

This week will be my trial-and-error week. I'll chronicle my attempts at whipping my life into shape and examine what works and what doesn't. I'd appreciate any constructive input from the more organized of my readers.

Warning: Not only am I very unorganized, I am also chock-full of good intentions that lead to nowhere. Only time will tell if that's what this post is all about or if I will finally change my bad girl ways. LOL!

Books I Read in 2009

2010-03-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

My reading list for 2009:

The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf
The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
Julie and Julia by Julie Powell
The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns
The Bible: Acts
The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
Jamaica Inn by Daphne du Maurier
The Bible: John
The Hours by Michael Cunnngham
Burnt Shadows by Kamila Shamsie
The Bible: Luke
Hostage To War: A True Story by Tatjana Wassiljewa
Not For Sale by David Batstone
Crazy Love by Francis Chan (yes, again!)
The Bible: Mark
The Bible: Matthew
Compelled By Love by Heidi Baker
Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
My Life In Orange by Tim Guest
The Vagrants by Yiyun Li
The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
A Painted House by John Grisham
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
Peony in Love by Lisa See
The Runaway Jury by John Grisham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett
Extreme Measures by Vince Flynn
Cane River by Lalita Tademy

Only 31 books, 19 short of my 50 book goal. Oh, well. Still better than NO book read this year, right?!

McKenzie Turns 1

2009-11-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

It's someone's 1st Birthday. Yep, can you believe it? A whole year has passed! She wasn't supposed to be here and we are enjoying EVERY SINGLE MOMENT! She is a true blessing.

Physically she is doing awesome! She has had a lot of surgeries this year and her attitude has always remained amazing. She smiles and giggles after her treatments. Even when she must be in pain, she is happy. She is even starting to speak, which is hard when you don't have a pallet. She goes in for her pallet surgery on November 11th. Please be praying because there is swine flu everywhere at the hospital she is going too, it's so bad that they may cancel the surgery. She truly is trying to speak though so we need to get it done so speaking with be easier for her. Her first words were mama and dada and her knew word "I love you". Shocking, and I didn't believe it, but I spent all evening on Friday with her and it's true! You can tell she is told that constantly. If you look at her and say "I love you". She looks right back and says "La Lu". So cute!!!

Thank you guys for your prayers and support this past year. We went through so much in such a short amount of time. You guys helped me so much and I appreciate it!

An Invitation

2009-10-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight I decided to sit down and share my thoughts surrounding our house fire. They aren't too put together, but after a crazy day, and a day of trying desperately to process my feelings, it's all I have. I really didn't want to do two posts of the same thing, so I wanted to invite those of you that loved us through that time period to visit our family blog. It's also an amazing little girls' 1st birthday on Friday and I will be doing some posts on her as well :)

If you are interested in the link, please email me at heatherschaos@gmail.com and I will send it to you.

2009-09-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

I think Zach is going to be a scientist. He's always testing things, looking at them from other angles, trying to find new uses for things. For example, he was hanging out with me in the bathroom while I put make-up on when he found Tim's old contact case. It's one with lids that separate completely from the case itself, and he took them both off and started running water in the case where the contacts belong. He twirled it around over the sink, letting bits slosh out. He did this for awhile, wordlessly and with great concentration. Then he filled both containers again and, without hesitation, drank the water from one. At my exclamation, he spit it out, filled both sides again and put the lids back on.

Yesterday I went into the guest half-bath on the first floor, which is more like The Boys' bathroom than it is for guests, as they use it more than anyone else. On the shelf is one of those Renuzit cone-shaped air fresheners that is filled with the scented gel that slowly evaporates; this one is white peony scent (though the stuff is red). I noticed it was sitting on the edge of the sink, closed. "Who closed this?" I asked as The Boys looked on and I opened it back up. Out gushed water and the liquefied guts of the air freshener. "I did it," Zach piped up. "I wanted to see what would happen."

Of course you did.

I also found a 4 Him Christmas cassette tape, unraveled and tucked way back on the bottom of the entertainment center. After some investigation I found that Zach had pulled the tape out, then vacuumed it up. When that didn't work as he'd planned, he pulled it free from the vacuum cleaner and pulled more tape out-- just for good measure.

There's a bunch to be said of life with boys, and the first is that it's never dull!

BTW, I've now done my 2nd show as a Pampered Chef consultant and it's going pretty well. I have 2 more shows this week and 3 more scheduled for October so far. It's a nice change of pace for me and I'm enjoying making money for the first time in years (other than on eBay but that doesn't really count).

Have you taken a look at my reading list for the year? I'm very excited to be close to on-track for my 50 book yearly goal. I'm at 31 books so far and I've calculated I should be at 39, so I do have some catching up to do, but I think I'll make it! Yay! I should reward myself if I make it, huh? Any suggestions?

2009-09-14T11:43:00.001-07:00

So my commitment to blog at least every-other-day has flown out the window. Had you noticed?!

I do have an excuse for the weekend: I was at a church women's retreat. It was fun, especially because I got put in a room with the other 3 Americans that went and we all went to bed at 10pm while the rest of the ladies cackled and howled into the wee hours of the morning. We were up at 5:45 and by the time we were freshly showered and made up everyone else was yawning, waiting in long lines for one of the 4 showers. Ha! It's the only way someone like me survives these things: sleep and shower.

And now for the excuse that will keep me away from the computer till at least Wednesday: I've become a Pampered Chef consultant. Or, more accurately, I will be one after my first show tomorrow night. I Am Nervous!!! And it's not like I know this nice gal that's agreed to let me learn what I'm doing while she and her friends look on; she's the hairdresser I went to for the first time last month! Then on Saturday I have my second show, for a good friend who is helping me out while earning oodles and oodles of free and half-priced high-quality kitchen products. (How'd you like that plug for the biz?!) Then 2 more shows next week, and 2 more the week after... Hopefully the bookings continue and I figure out what I'm doing quickly.

Anyway, I'm in the last minute panic of trying to learn what all the products are called and what they do and why they're better than your average Walmart stuff. I also have to think up a snazzy presentation and make sure I have all the forms and do-dads I need. Oy. I'm off to the store right now to get name tags and pens, and maybe a food scale (cuz they use those here).

So while I'm temporarily away from the blog, keep me in mind. Say little prayers for me, for confidence and grace. I'll be back Wednesday with a summary of the nights successes and challenges.

;) Ciao!

~REESE (I accidentally erased my little name image, and I don't want to go through the necessary steps to reclaim it.)

Do It Again, Lord

2009-09-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

We're still hoping we'll wake up. We're still hoping we'll open a sleepy eye and think, What a horrible dream.

But we won't, will we, Father? What we saw was not a dream. Planes did gouge towers. Flames did consume our fortress. People did perish. It was no dream and, dear Father, we are sad.

There is a ballet dancer who will no longer dance and a doctor who will no longer heal. A church has lost her priest, a classroom is minus a teacher. Cora ran a food pantry. Paige was a counselor and Dana, dearest Father, Dana was only three years old. (Who held her in those final moments?)

We are sad, Father. For as the innocent are buried, our innocence is buried as well. We thought we were safe. Perhaps we should have known better. But we didn't.

And so we come to you. We don't ask you for help; we beg you for it. We don't request it; we implore it. We know what you can do. We've read the accounts. We've pondered the stories and now we plead, Do it again, Lord. Do it again.

Remember Joseph? You rescued him from the pit. You can do the same for us. Do it again, Lord.

Remember the Hebrews in Egypt? You protected their children from the angel of death. We have children, too, Lord. Do it again.

And Sarah? Remember her prayers? You heard them. Joshua? Remember his fears? You inspired him. The women at the tomb? You resurrected their hope. The doubts of Thomas? You took them away. Do it again, Lord. Do it again.

You changed Daniel from a captive into a king's counselor. You took Peter the fisherman and made him Peter an apostle. Because of you, David went from leading sheep to leading armies. Do it again, Lord, for we need counselors today, Lord. We need apostles. We need leaders. Do it again, dear Lord.

Most of all, do again what you did at Calvary. What we saw here on that Tuesday, you saw there on that Friday. Innocence slaughtered. Goodness murdered. Mothers weeping. Evil dancing. Just as the ash fell on our children, the darkness fell on your Son. Just as our towers were shattered, the very Tower of Eternity was pierced.

And by dusk, heaven's sweetest song was silent, buried behind a rock.

But you did not waver, O Lord. You did not waver. After three days in a dark hole, you rolled the rock and rumbled the earth and turned the darkest Friday into the brightest Sunday. Do it again, Lord. Grant us a September Easter.

We thank you, dear Father, for these hours of unity. Disaster has done what discussion could not. Doctrinal fences have fallen. Republicans are standing with Democrats. Skin colors have been covered by the ash of burning buildings. We thank you for these hours of unity.

And we thank you for these hours of prayer. The Enemy sought to bring us to our knees and succeeded. He had no idea, however, that we would kneel before you. And he has no idea what you can do.

Let your mercy be upon our President, Vice President, and their families. Grant to those who lead us wisdom beyond their years and experience. Have mercy upon the souls who have departed and the wounded who remain. Give us grace that we might forgive and faith that we might believe.

And look kindly upon your church. For two thousand years you've used her to heal a hurting world.

Do it again, Lord. Do it again.

Through Christ, Amen.

As written by Max Lucado for America Prays, a national prayer vigil held Saturday, September 14, 2001. Permission to copy not only granted but encouraged.

My Summer

2009-09-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'm back too :) Thanks so much for being so understanding about Reese and I needing to take a little bloggie break. We really needed it, but I did miss you.

I had an ah-ha moment (you know one of those moments where you get smacked in the face?) the beginning of June which sent me on a whole new direction for my summer. I went to a co-workers high school graduation and you know what I realized? Amanda only has four years left at home. Four years. Do you know how fast four years goes? In a blink of an eye, my baby will be going her own way. I was shocked that I hadn't realized it. The six months prior to June had been filled with total chaos with the fire and everything that entailed, moving back home and helping with my sister in any way possible. It was a whirlwind and I realized that I had not been enjoying my kids in the manner I was meant too.

Dan and I filled our summer with as much fun as possible. We did so much stuff, especially for us, as we tend to be homebodies. We camped several times, went on two vacations, picnics with family, walks in the park, playing in the park until late at night...the list really goes on. I have been ignoring the computer as much as possible, which at times feels like I am ignoring Reese and I hate that (and vow to do better). I have learned so much about my kids, have fallen madly in love with my husband and adore our family so much more then I did back in June.

Amanda is now a freshman, Mark has entered middle school and McKenna is a big second grader. There are definitely more moments where Amanda is learning who she is and at times that means testing us. It's so hard. She is so fun, loving and kind and then there are the teenage moments where I literally want to scream "who the heck are you???" but we get through them.

Saturday I had another ah-ha moment. I had the privilege of going to a David Cook concert. I love David Cook and couldn't believe I actually got to go to a concert. My friend that went with me also has a daughter who is a year older then Amanda and on the way there we were chatting about how hard it is to let our girls go and let them grow up. They are at an age where there is so much we can't do for them. They have to figure out their feelings, beliefs and values for themselves. Anyway, if you are familiar with David Cook, you may know the song "Come Back To Me". I love that song, but right when it started my friend looked over at me and said "this song is a dedication to our girls". Can I tell you I lost it right there, absolutely bawling lost it. I know as a parent of these teenagers, you have to let go in a sense. You can not lecture, be in their face or demand they believe as you do. Their lives become more of a conversation where you must listen and you must respect where they are coming from, it's much more give and take at this point. I can not throw out my beliefs without being willing to listen to hers. I have to trust that I've laid a good foundation and that she'll, in a sense, "come back to me".

If you are interested, here is a link to go see a video of him singing live.

Here is how I spent my summer, loving on these guys!

Rasing a Man

2009-09-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

Another first day of school and all is well. What more could I ask for?

Today was Ian's first day of Reception (Kindergarten). The way it works here is the kid starts Nursery (Preschool) in the school year they turn four-years-old. Then when they start Reception, the ones who turned 4 later in the school year- like Ian did in June- they go half days until January. It gives them a few months to age a bit before jumping in full time. So though it was the first day, he knew most of the kids from Nursery last year, plus he has the same teacher Zach had last year so he feels like he already knows her, and it's only a few hours a day anyway.

Ian is a sort of enigma: clingy and attached to me like a last born should be, yet very independent and unruffled when it comes to leaving me in times like the first day of school. He's shy, yet bold. Whiny and brave. Try to detach him from my leg while I make dinner and you might as well catch the Loch Ness Monster and make hors d'ouerves out of him. But when I walked him to his classroom this morning- past the hordes of thrashing children screaming "Mum, don't leave me!"- he walked calmly to the board, found his name, dropped it in the box and waved a silent good-bye to me. He could have lived without the kiss I planted on his cheek and he didn't even notice that I stood on one side of the room and watched him looking lost and brave and confident for a few minutes.

I was very curious about his day, so I peppered him with questions on the walk home.

Me: "Ian, what did you do at school today?"

Ian, calm and happy as can be: "I don't know."

M: "Okay. What did Miss G say to you?"

I: "I don't know. I forgott-ed."

M: "Did you play games? What did you play?"

I: "I don't know."

M: "Who did you play with?"

I: "I don't know."

M: "Are there kids in your class from last year? Which ones?"

I: "I don't know. I forgott-ed."

Is this a man in the making or what?! I've got to teach him the art of conversation or he's going to make some unsuspecting girl who fell for his huge puppy dog eyes really, really miserable! I did get 2 answers out of him:

Me: "What did you eat for snack?"

Ian: "Apples."

Me: "Did you eat your snot?"

Ian: "Yes."

At least he was honest...

2009-09-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Lora has a giveaway going on over at her blog. Not much time, so QUICK! Click here!

The Hiatus Ends!

2009-09-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

It’s happened: the summer has passed and the fall is here. ‘Cause we all know that fall doesn’t start on September 21, or whatever, it starts when the kids go back to school. For this reason I was able to delay fall for a week; The Boys go back tomorrow, while the older kids started a week ago. Sadly, the weather runs on American school time. It was cold and windy most of last week. Then again, that’s England for you.

Since the hiatus was officially for the summer, I thought I’d come out of hiding. That’s the beauty of the blogosphere as opposed to real life: you can be absent and the dishes don’t stack up, the garbages don’t overflow, the food in the fridge doesn’t go bad, there’s no stack of mail under the mail slot. It’s a gorgeous thing. And I’ve enjoyed my laid-back summer.

So much so, in fact, that I’ve been dancing on the edge of making the final decision to quit blogging. I jumped into the blogosphere to escape my loneliness in Germany. It provided a creative outlet at a time when I lived in the middle of a farming village where no one spoke English, and I was half-an-hour from base. I was crazy with all the things I wanted to say rolling around in my head but no one but toddlers and field spiders to tell them to. I began throwing my thoughts into the eWorld and finding some peace. Now, when I feel verbally antsy I’m more likely to call my friend Javare’ than take to the laptop and create a post. I don’t need to blog like I once did.

But after much soul searching I’ve discovered that while I don’t need to blog, I want to. I love my internet friends and some of them have moved from simply commenters to Facebook friends and people I exchange the occasional email with. I have yet to actually meet someone I’ve only “met” online but I think I will someday. I always have room for more friends. And while I make friends and build relationships, I force myself to write. I used to write all the time, but once I hit my 30’s the brain juices dried up and my mind is literally blank when I attempt to come up with a topic for blogging. Hopefully, blogging will restore my mind to its pre-30’s state when words were my life and topics to write on were so plentiful I woke up at night with ideas. At the very least, I’d like to prevent myself from being totally brain-dead by 40. My goals are fairly small.

So that’s the goal and this is the commitment: I’ll blog for this school year at least. Beyond that, well, we’ll see. ‘Cause, really, with the ability to disappear without my picture ending up on the back of a milk carton, the possibilities are endless.

Thank you!

2009-08-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

I need to interrupt our little hiatus to tell my blogging friends a great big

THANK YOU!!

A year ago on Wednesday started our traumatic events leading up to the birth of our beautiful McKenzie. As you know, things did not start out well. You can see here where Reese knew we were headed into some tough times. I started to tell you a little about what was going on here and another update here. You guys have walked this road with us. You have been there through the many updates, the frantic birth, the surgeries and all the praise reports along the way.

Here we are a year later and we are enjoying every moment with McKenzie. She has been a fighter since the day you she decided to be born - six weeks early! I am so thankful for all she has accomplished and how far she has come. My sister is a star mom and takes care of McKenzie's every need. God has certainly answered prayers with regards to McKenzie. He has shown who is in control and that He will guide us.

So, thank you! I can't tell you how much our family has appreciated your prayers and support. I really want you to know that it has meant alot to me.

Here is our girl now. She has glasses now, although rarely wears them as she just pulls them off. She is such a happy girl and laughs and talks all the time. She is slightly behind other kids her age, but not by much. She really is doing so well!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled hiatus! Enjoy the rest of summer...school is right around the corner :(

2009-07-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

~On Hiatus~

Have a lovely summer!

It's Hard To Be A Parent (Revisited)

2009-07-10T14:07:00.001-07:00

As you can tell, I seem to have issues right now with posting. It's not that I don't want too, it's that I just can't think up anything great to say. Reese and I have had a couple of different blogs over the years and one of them has been saved so I decided to look over there and you know what, on that blog, it was mostly Reese as well. I must frequently have writer's block. As you can tell from my different posts, writing and grammar are definitely not my strong points.

I did find this post though. Reading this helps me remember why we blog. If I had not written it down, I would have forgotten this precious moment with my son. It was written the end of March, 2007.

Last night I sat on the bathroom floor with my soon to be 9 year old son, Mark, and watched as the tears poured down his face. He was crying because he can't remember his cousin anymore. James passed away when he was 19 months old due to a genetic disease called Menkes. Mark was 7 at the time. He says he just wishes he could remember something, but he can't. That's so hard. Mark adored James and spent so much time with him..but, he just can't remember.

He's finally asking questions...tough ones. Ones that I ask and have no answers for. We talked about all the wonderful lessons we learned and how we would not have ever learned those lessons if it weren't for James. We learned that every person, no matter what the disability, deserved love and acceptance. They have amazing personalities that shine through their eyes and their limited movements. We learned unconditional love. But, then you have to ask..why James..why did we have to learn those lessons at the sacrifice of James? Tough questions for an 9 year old, tough questions for a mom still muddling through some of those same issues.

It's hard being a parent. It's hard to watch your child suffer and question life issues. At the same time, it's wonderful to watch them learn about life and to find stability in a God that loves and saves them. One of the best lessons we learned is that God will not take away all of our tough times, but he will definitely walk through them with us. He sees the big picture. James is already with Him, and we will be eventually. Maybe in the end, that is all that matters.

There are also amazing fun times, times that I am thankful for and still wouldn't change but, again, not an easy thing to understand.Mark is a wonderful child. He's extremely sensitive and loving. I just have to keep praying that he will keep talking and expressing himself, that he won't bottle any of his feelings up. What a blessing it is to be his mom!

Recently I read somewhere that every trial we go through prepares us for what is going to happen next in life. I really don't think we would have felt ready for McKenzie if it hadn't been for James. There would have been a "trial" period of figuring out how to deal with a child with disabilities, one who looks different and may not be "normal". McKenzie was loved and accepted instantly. We already know the benefit of loving completely a child that may not be "normal". We didn't have to think about it or weigh the risks. We learned alot through James and are learning through McKenzie now. He paved the way for her into our family. He did so much in his little life and I'm thankful for every moment spent with him, every lesson learned, every angry grunt he gave me and most of all, I'm glad God chose us. Despite the pain, I'm glad I was his aunt and I'm equally glad to be McKenzie's.

The Michelin Baby

2009-07-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Heather's husband Dan is always uploading funny pictures to his Facebook page. This one I had to repost because it made me laugh out loud!

Quotes That Have Spoken To Me Lately

2009-07-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

~George Bernard Shaw

It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity.

~Frederic D. Huntington, in Forum magazine, 1890

Pictures From My London Trip Yesterday

2009-07-04T03:28:00.001-07:00

People all over the world will do anything for some cash, as this blue man deftly demonstrates. This is only one of many examples of people playing instruments for money. There was a hand-less man in the Tube station, strumming his guitar with a pick strapped to the end of his stub. Isn't there any other way for a one-handed man to make some dough?

This bloke became a dog for money. It must have been insanely hot under that blanket.

Kristine poses by the artful graffiti. This was under a footbridge, where a small skate park was. It actually looked pretty cool!

My friend Javare, posing with me in front of the London Eye. This is right by The Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. A short walk away is Westminster Abbey and Trafalgar Square.

Happy Independence Day! Hope you all have a safe and fun weekend.

A Ramble

2009-07-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

I've been falling down on my job. I was supposed to post on Wednesday but after work I headed to Portland to take a photography class with a friend. I didn't get home til 11:30 at night. I had every intention of doing a post, but when I got home I found out the kids had let the laptop die and I just didn't feel like messing with it. Terrible excuse, I know. Other than that, things have just been typical summer crazy.

I've decided to just ramble tonight. I'm super excited for the 4th. Normally I really don't care, I'm not a big fireworks person but this year I've talked my whole family into going to a town nearby that has a good fireworks show. I can't wait to watch my nieces (ages 3 and 4) get their first real taste of fireworks. I'm sure they will be in awe. What about you guys? Do you have any plans? Do you have any 4th of July traditions?

McKenzie is all healed from her surgeries, and looks great. I can't get enough of this smile, and she freely gives them out!

We are starting to gear up for our camping trips. I can't wait! I am taking the kids camping on July 10th and Dan will join us on the 11th and we will stay until the 13th. We love to camp and it's such a great way for our family to reconnect. Dan works completely opposite schedules from the kids and I and even though we do get to see each other we don't spend good quality time together. Then we will be home for a couple of weeks and leave August 2nd for the beach. This will be the first time that we try camping at the beach but we've heard of a great place to go and I can't wait to give it a try.

I hope you all have an amazing fourth!! Have fun with your families!!

My Ever-Evolving Hair

2009-06-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

Getting a hair cut and color can be awfully anticlimactic. I think and plan and think and plan, looking forward to that one hour where everything changes. And then, slowly the bleach is painted in and the rinsing happens and the cutting moves along at its slow and steady pace. After a hour-and-a-half, I look in the mirror and it's done; no fireworks, no rumbling announcements, just a quiet transition from one idea of myself to another. The only time it's a big event is when it doesn't turn out right, and then the event tends to be after the cut/color: the tears, the wailing, the hiding under the covers till I fall into a fitful, nightmare plagued sleep. (An exaggeration? Maybe!)

Since I was in Oregon and Heather helped me turn my black hair into a shocking orange mess with the assistance of bleach in a box covered with lies (black to platinum blonde in 90 minutes? Nope!), I've contemplated going back to my original blonde hair. When I asked my hairstylist Pauline about it, she said I couldn't take it from the current red ("ginger" it's called here) to light blonde successfully. She suggested "heavy highlights" for a couple of visits this summer, eventually switching over completely to blonde. The deed was done this morning.

What do you get when you mix blonde and red? Orange! But it's ok, I still like it. It's kind of funky, which is fine with me. I'm ok with processes.

Please keep in mind that it's been very hot here, about 90 degrees. That might not seem hot to you, but it's not normal here and without air conditioning and with a high humidity level it's miserable. I look like it's miserably hot!

Food For Thought: Why You Are Where You Are

2009-06-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

Have you thought about why you are where you are? Unless you're living in direct disobedience to a specific call of The Lord, you haven't just randomly dropped down by accident in a town/city/base/state/country. You've been planted there by God's divine wisdom. The people you come into contact with aren't there by accident either, and neither are they in your path by coincidence. You were born for such a time as this.

For some of us, that's comforting only in the way that we know there is a larger purpose and plan behind the trials we are facing; for others of us that means we need to look hard and long at how we are spending the time God has allotted us where we are. Are you waking up every morning looking for the why in your "chance" meetings and dealings with people? Might there be more to it that what you have been willing to see up till this point?

Spend a moment at the foot of the throne of the Most High. Be humbled by His plan and the call He ordained for you before the dawn of time. Then stand up, walk out and be the light you were called to be.

A Valuable Lesson

2009-06-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

Dad has no clue how to dress Barbie.

This was definitely a "had to be there" moment. McKenna tied on Barbie's shirt way too tight and I couldn't undo it. She was sure her dad could and I warned her there was no way he would know how to take care of it. He sure took care of it his own way, he ripped it off and busted the straps. McKenna was almost in tears when she realized he had broke her Barbie shirt. Next thing you know she is telling him to put it back on her, so he ties it in a knot around her neck and there you have it. You can't really tell but it's kind of a halter type shirt and Dan just tied the the straps around her neck without putting the shirt all the way on, so it's just dangling around her neck. McKenna was NOT happy, not even a little bit.

The Fashion Show In My Back Yard

2009-06-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Is this the future trend among the young people?! It's highly favored among my youngest boys, as modeled here by Zac.

Mark's Thoughts

2009-06-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today was my day to post. Reese and I are really trying to commit to keeping up with the blog because it is important to us. I had a really hard day at work. Things are just crazy. I asked my boss to figure out how to clone me so there could be an "at home" Heather and an "at work" Heather. I hate trying to find the balance and get it all done.

Here it is 9:30 p.m. and I had no idea what I was going to post about until Mark came in the room. He's such a funny kid. I had no intention of posting about Michael Jackson or his death. I have my own thoughts on it and it really doesn't matter what I think but one thing I didn't realize is how confusing Michael Jackson could be for our children. I mean, they didn't watch him "evolve".

Dan was watching part of MTV's tribute to MJ when Mark walks in and says "oh, is this about the boy Michael Jackson or the girl Michael Jackson?" Dan and I had no clue what he could be talking about so we tell him there is no girl MJ. He then says "What do you mean? He was once a black boy and turned into a white girl." Now, that's confusing, and looking at his pics I can see where Mark got that assumption.

They also showed MJ singing with Slash from Guns N Roses and Mark says "Hey, that's the guy from Guitar Hero" Dan told him that he was much more popular than Guitar Hero and Mark said "Why, because he has a funny hat, big hair and you can't see his face?" Uh, yeah Mark, that's why!

Truthfully, that conversation made me feel a little old. There is no way that Mark can understand at his age why MJ or Slash are popular because they are so different from the artists of today. It's kind of like when my mom had me listen to The Beatles and artists of her time. At 11, I just didn't get it...and, none were nearly as confusing as MJ.

I hope this doesn't come across disrespectful, because it's not my intent. Just a glimpse into my 11 year old's head.

The Summer Reese Wears Dresses

2009-06-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

There was a time in the not-so-distant past that the thought of wearing something that the majority of the population deemed ugly would have sent me into a panic. Not any more. With my 30's came a new-found confidence. Very little actually intimidates me as far as clothing is concerned. (Unless it's seriously immodest- I don't like to go there.)

I've wanted to find some dresses for the summer time; something flowing and airy, not too short (it gets awfully windy here), and low cost. I've dubbed this summer "The Summer That Reese Wears Dresses" but only had two that looked like they belonged outside a church. Today at the BX I decided to have a quick browse to try to expand my selection.

Since I've started a weird patchwork burn/suntan pattern on my shoulders and back, I decided to look for something strapless. Viola!

Sean's comment? "You're not going out in that are you?!"

Kristine's comments? "No comment." (Then she commented.) "You look like you're going to a luau." And: "I'm sitting here in the van. There's no way I'm going to be seen with you in that!."

Actually, as soon as I slipped it over my head in the fitting room I heard my friend Linda say (in her distinctive African-British accent), "I don't like it." She's very honest that way. She doesn't like the color of my hair either. But she loves me.

As for me:

Red hair? Bring it on!
Pigtails? Bring it on!
Wildly unpopular dress that drags the ground and is in a crazy design? Bring it on!

Pizza Night

2009-06-24T21:00:00.001-07:00

I don't cook. Most of you know that. In fact, I actually don't even enjoy eating, I mainly eat because obviously we have too. I really don't enjoy cooking. I have been really proud of myself because I have cooked dinner for the last two weeks straight, a true record for me.

For Dan's birthday my mom gave him a gift certificate and you know what that man did? He had me meet him for lunch and he spent all of his birthday money on me for kitchen stuff since I have been cooking. I bought a pizza pan (among other things) and last night I decided to give homemade pizza a try. I have always wanted to cook pizza at home but I have always been scared that I would ruin it and it would just be a waste of my time. I am pleased to announce that it turned out AMAZING and my family is now asking I do it every week.

Here was the kids' pepperoni pizza

Here was Dans

Here is mine (minus green stuff!)

I am seriously so pleased with myself. I'm sure those of you bakers are wondering what the big deal is, but to me this is huge and a way I can bless my family.

Useless Inventions

2009-06-23T15:33:00.001-07:00

My oldest son was telling me about some useless inventions he and his friends had come up with (silent car alarms, solar powered nightlights), and it got me thinking about the truly useless inventions out there.

Like this: the contraption that keeps noodles from splatting your face while you slurp them.

Pure genius!

Click here for Time Online list the top 10 useless inventions. I'm digging the alarm equipped fork!

Summer Activities

2009-06-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

This summer my kids are staying home and not going to my mom's house. They are old enough to handle most things on their own. I started to panic a little when I realized that for most of the summer they are going to be alone, probably watching TV, playing on their handheld games of choice, talking on their cell phones, texting and playing on the computer. I'm sorry, but that sounds like a lot of lazy nothingness to me, so I started signing them up for various things to make their summer more productive and so they wouldn't have too much down time. I'm overwhelmed with how much I've scheduled in, and I'm not even the one having to do this all. Think I overdid it? LOL!!

weekly art lessons for Mark & McKenna
four weeks of the summer daily swimming lessons for Mark & McKenna
soccer practice for McKenna
weekly reading class at the library Mark & McKenna
camping for the whole family
family vacation to the beach
one week of garden camp for McKenna
one week of bug camp for Mark
family reunions
twice weekly gymnastics for McKenna
weekly tennis lessons for Amanda & Mark
babysitting jobs for Amanda
Tennis camp for Amanda

I'm sure that this isn't a complete list, but this list alone makes me tired. How about you guys? What do you do to keep your kids busy for the summer?

Matthew 25: 31-46: Verses I Can't Get Out of My Head

2009-06-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Final Judgment

³¹"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. ³²Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. ³⁴Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' ³⁷Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? ³⁸And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? ³⁹And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' ⁴⁰And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

⁴¹"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴²For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, ⁴³I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'

⁴⁴Then they also will answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' ⁴⁵Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' ⁴⁶And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

A Healthy Husband

2009-06-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

Ruth has been listing the things that she is thankful for and I've really enjoyed reading them. Her goal is to list 1,000 things. That's a lot!! I've been thinking about starting my own list because I think that it is so important to always be thankful.

I'm thankful for one major thing today. I'm thankful for my husband's health. Dan has a terrible nerve disorder called Trigeminal Neuraglia. It's very rare and extremely painful. Usually it doesn't affect him but last Thursday Dan had a tooth pulled and it triggered it. Whenever he has had an episode he has been able to handle it with his medication and within hours of the first dose the pain diminishes. He wasn't so lucky this time. He has been in excruciating pain for 7 days. This was scary. He had to quadruple his dosage to get any relief and by the time he was that medicated he could barely walk from the meds.

The meds are never guaranteed to work and since it took 7 days and huge doses of medication I was frightened. I was so scared that maybe this time his meds weren't going to work. Some people suffer continuously with this disease and never get any relief.

I'm thankful tonight that Dan is healthy. He's back to his goofy self and we can put this terrible week behind us. Plus, it's his birthday and Father's Day on Sunday so he'll be ready to party! :)

2009-06-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

"Live your life in a way that demands explanation."
~Unknown

A New Christian Life

2009-06-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie: I've become increasingly bored with the brand of Christianity I've been practicing. It seems that I joined- no, was born into- some sort of club and the rules involve trying not to cuss, not drinking (or at least not drinking excessively), dressing up on Sundays and carrying my Bible to church. No matter what sort of week I've been having, there's an unspoken obligation to be perky at church. We should be happy at church, but because we're free and forgiven not because it's the thing to do. I've noticed that my life bears very little difference to the lives of my unsaved neighbors and friends. We're all after the same thing: security, money, a healthy retirement account, the American Dream.

Last year I read Max Lucado's book It's Not About Me. (My blog post here.) That was the beginning of seeing my life the way it should be rather than what I've allowed it to become. It was the first time I had consciously considered that Christianity wasn't a side thing to do along with the rest of my life, but the main purpose of the life God gave me. Then I read Tom Davis's book Red Letters (my post here) and started visiting his blog. Until then I had always thought of anti-hunger organizations as the non-Christian's way of feeling like they were making a difference without God. I thought it was making up for not having Jesus. What an eye-opening experience to realize that the saved are those that should be at the forefront of these efforts for the hungry, orphaned and widowed!

God began to speak to me about making a difference where I am- to bloom where he plants me. I can show his love to my neighbors, believing that He put me where I am for a divine purpose. I heard Lee Strobel's Focus on the Family- aired recordings "If Jesus Lived At My House" and suddenly a whole new world of opportunity opened up.

And now I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I've been impressed with so much of the book, but these particular points have stood out so far:

Christians were first called "Christians". They didn't name themselves. The unsaved looked at them, at the way they lived, and said, "Those people are like the one they call the Christ. They are followers of his teachings. They are Christians." How many of those around you would voluntarily call you a Christian, or is that a label you've given yourself? What makes it true?
God is HUGE and doesn't need me. He wants me. He created everything through Himself and for Himself.
It's time to step out of our Western Christian mindsets and live radically for Christ in whatever way He calls each of us to do that.

I'm still not sure what all the practical applications of that will look like in my life. But here are my first, elementary thoughts: I don't have a job and I am raising kids. I want to raise them with an awareness of what true Christianity looks like. I want to be an example of that. In the following days and weeks I will be praying for God's directing in my life on how to do that. I will pray for the lost and abandoned and hungry and pray that the change I see in myself will be lasting and not a passing personal fad. I will start this year to get an education that will lead to money and skills to help the lost and hurting. Currently, I'm planning to pursue a nursing degree, unless God tells me otherwise. Until then, I will begin selling many of the possessions I have that weigh me down. I'm tired of feeling bloated and sluggish in regards to my material possessions. I don't need most of what I own, and it would be much better put to use for the kingdom of Heaven. I will be using my eBay account to sell my things, with a majority percentage of the profits going to charities that I will be choosing.

With the Spirit of Christ in us, we can change the world.

Blogging About Blogging: Anybody Out There With Answers?

2009-06-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name's Reese and I used to be a blogger.

Well, maybe I still am. But you couldn't tell by the number of post I've done in the past few weeks, right? These long, awkward blogger pauses are the reasons that people invented recurring, daily blogging events (Wordless Wednesday, Fill-In Friday, etc.); some of us just don't have anything interesting to say every day. I've actually resorted to shoving needles in my feet in the hopes of achieving good post material.

What makes one blog more interesting than the next? Bloggers and their followers are generally bound together by common interests (organizing, cooking, charity work, motherhood), or by real-life relationships (that's why friends and family are our most faithful followers). In the event that a blog is followed by people that aren't family, friends, or don't relate through common interest, humor is often what draws readers. (Every now and then I wish I had the brains and biting wit of Ann Coulter. I'd have thousands of readers to my weekly posts. I'd probably have as many book deals as she has also.)

For me, I'm standing at a blogging fork-in-the-road. To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

What's the answer? I'm still waiting for Heather's email on the subject. Until then, I'd like to ask you, if you're a blogger:

What motivates you to blog?
How long have you been blogging, and how long do you anticipate keeping it up?

If you're a regular reader, to this or any other blogs:

What keeps you coming back?
How long does a blog remain stagnant before you give up and stop visiting?

Heather and I have always tried to cover a variety of topics, not purposefully, but just to use the blog as a reflection of our daily lives. If we're thinking about Johnny Depp, we'll probably blog about Johnny Depp. If we are getting misty eyed while we think of our kids, you'll probably be reading about it within a day or two. When school and work and family obligations overwhelm us, you probably won't hear about it- in fact you might not hear about anything from us for awhile. The trouble with that is that when a blog isn't updated regularly people stop visiting, so when we decide to reappear and post again, there might not be anyone around to read it... and what's the point of having a blog that no one reads?

I love our blog and don't think we're anywhere near throwing in the towel. It's just that I'm thinking about blogging, so I'm blogging about blogging.

Got that?!

Mama's Heart

2009-06-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

Last night McKenna started showing me all of her first grade, year end stuff - you know, the backpacks filled with all the wonderful miscellaneous paperwork. Most of the items will have to be thrown away, but she stumbled upon a priceless treasure for me. It was her first grade journal, complete with photos that the teacher added in. The thing for me was that as I looked through these photos and saw her bright smiling face, I also saw the sadness in her eyes. I usually measure the year by the school year, not the actual year, and this school year has been filled with so much sadness. I almost cried as I looked through those photos. I knew she was trying so hard to put up a good front, but I also knew how sad she had been most of the year. The house fire was hard on her. She likes her structure and she was definitely out of her element this year. She was very successful academically so I'm thankful that all of the obstacles didn't bring her down. I know that this only helped to shape her character.

As I was looking through her photos I was thinking about Amanda and Mark. They are both graduating on this year. Amanda to her first year of high school, and Mark onto his first year at the middle school. Their first grade years were also difficult. During Amanda's first grade year, I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant with McKenna. Normally that would not have been a big deal as my first two pregnancies were great. However, McKenna had a different plan. Her pregnancy was by far my hardest and Amanda had to deal with a mom that wasn't really "with it" for nine months. Mark's first grade year was the hardest ever. That was the year that James passed away. Thankfully Mark had the best teacher at the school. She happened to be my teacher for third grade and Amanda also had her for first grade. I remember the week after James died and we were all starting to go back to work and school. I walked in with tears streaming down my face. I felt like I was abandoning my children. She came right out with big hugs and wrapped both Mark and I in her arms and told us how much she loved us and that she would take good care of Mark and call me immediately if I was needed. I know he was in an angels' arms that year.

This mama's heart feels a little sad this evening for the hardships my kids have endured. They have come out stronger, but I hate they have had to go through them. If I put it in perspective they really haven't been through alot. However, they have endured more then I did at their ages. The situations they have been through are ones that I have not had to deal with until adulthood. I do know that they are more compassionate, loving and kind. They are accepting of others and their surroundings. I'm thankful for who they are and know that God has an important plan for each one of them and that their childhood experiences will help shape them for that.

It's getting dark and the kids are coming back in so I'm logging off for now. I know I could write this better, but I'm going to leave it "as is" and go hang out with them.

Anyone Up For "Swapping" This Weekend?

2009-06-06T15:29:00.001-07:00

The Lord has put the hungry, orphaned and widowed on my heart recently and I have begun attempting to mold my life into a more Christ-centered existence. I've started visiting Tom Davis's blog (link in our blog roll), and he has this interesting post about the weekend: Click HERE for the post.

I'm swapping. How about you?

And The Piercings Continue...

2009-06-05T09:41:00.001-07:00

Since Heather and I have a history of sharing when we get pierced with things (click here and here for a reminder), I knew I had to post this one. After teaching at youth group on Wednesday night I got home and effortlessly stepped on a sewing needle. Do these things ever take effort? Well it took effort on the part of the person (Little Boy, no doubt, though no one is 'fessing up) who dug around in my sewing box and carried the needle down to the living room), who not only left one needle on the floor, but Sean found another one after I left for the ER.

Why go to the ER and not just yank it out myself? I was asking myself the same thing for about an hour-and-a-half after it happened. See, I took out "Taking Care of Yourself" (military issue medical book) rather than the needle. When it asked if I'd had at least 4 tetanus shots (I don't think I have, though my last one was in 2007) and if there was any "foreign material in the wound" (duh!), I suggested to Tim that we call the ER before pulling it out. They always "err on the side of caution"; they told me to come in.

Here I am filling out paperwork before the x-ray to see if the needle had hit the bone. (It hadn't.)

The craziest thing about the whole experience was how fun it was. Tim and I haven't had a lot of time together lately, as he is putting in overtime at a second job. As soon as he was told that I had a needle in my foot, he hung up with a client and took good care of me. At the ER the techs, nurse and doctor ribbed me mercilessly and it was fun. We even took out the camera and recorded all the moments we could. Here I am being goofy, still waiting for the x-ray tech.

When it first went in, the only part showing was the eye of the needle. Grossly enough, I pushed on the top of my foot and it stayed at this level the rest of the time, till the doc pulled it out with pliers.

Here's the Staff Sergeant that set off all the teasing when I first got there. He asked me, very seriously, how it had happened. The nurse laughed and said "How else you you get needles in your foot?!" He answered, still serious, "Maybe she did it on purpose." That was it. After that they started teasing me about clearing needles out of every room before they wheeled me, lest I stab myself purposefully again. SSgt P ended up being the one to clean my in-a-flip-flop-all-day foot. Eew!

After it was removed.

Continuing the interesting experience with an airman and the British EMT on duty. That EMT had a blast. I was surely the most interesting case to come in all night.

And afterward, Tim and I had dinner together! What a great way to end a very interesting day. I'd take another needle in the foot for a fun evening with Tim, but I'd probably pull it out myself next time.

My Flowers, The Garden & The Fish

2009-06-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

I just had to come today and show you how my flowers are growing, they are turning out so pretty.

Also, I have decided to do a garden this year. The plants I have growing right now are 1 watermelon, 4 cucumbers and 9 sugar snap peas. Right now we have this fencing over it to keep the dogs out. The plants are starting to weave their way through the fencing now so we are going to have to figure something else out.

I've also decided to clear out an area of our yard and I'm going to plant corn, more watermelon, cantaloupe, maybe some more peas and a green pepper.

Here is the area I'm clearing for that.

When I first started it looked like this

As you can tell our backyard is a big, nasty jumbled mess so I'm so excited to see what I can do with it this year. I've always wanted to grow a garden, I just never gave it a try. Apparently this year I felt the need to really go for it. I can't wait to just go out back and grab corn on the cob for dinner!

Oh, and here are my new little friends. I turned one of my wine barrels into a fish pond. We started out with 9 fish and are down to 5. I'm hoping these ones survive okay. It's so nice when you are working in the backyard to hear the sound of the fountain going.

The Prayer Americans Refuse To Pray

2009-06-02T05:39:00.001-07:00

Pastor Francis Chan of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, CA.

Trust

2009-05-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

"Your baby will die immediately upon birth", the doctor said.

"The fluid in your baby's brain is growing rapidly, you do have other options"

"Your baby's face is severely deformed as are her hands"

"The outlook is grim, don't make plans for her"

(Mother' Day, the day Bethany did not think would happen)

I listened to those words, instead of these powerful ones:

I will give her a future and a hope, plans to prosper her (Jeremiah 29:11).

Or how about my most favorite verses of all, Psalm 139

For you created McKenzie's inmost being;

you knit her together in Bethany's womb.

I praise you because McKenzie is fearfully and WONDERFULLY made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

McKenzie's frame was not hidden from you

when she was made in the secret place.

When McKenzie was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw her unformed body.

All the days ordained for McKenzie were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

I wish I wasn't so easily swayed. I wish my doubt didn't always creep in so hard and fast. I'm thankful that I have this beautiful little girl in my life to remind me that I don't need to be in control that I just need to trust God for the ride.

She will be 7 months old on Friday! McKenzie had her cleft lip surgery yesterday, and I would say it was successful.

She was beautiful before, and she's breathtaking now. I am thankful I get to be a small part of her journey. The plans ordained for her are going to be amazing to watch unfold. Her personality shines through in every circumstance. She's not able to completely smile yet, I'm sure it will be a few days, but we can't stop staring at her, just waiting to see. You can bet, there will be more pictures soon. She is done with surgeries for awhile and we are so happy.

Doing Hard Things

2009-05-27T14:22:00.001-07:00

I've started reading Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris, and while it's directed at teens, it is hitting me right where it hurts. I've avoided hard things for much of my life, and missed out on many years of rewards as a result.

Here is the book's official description:

The next generation stands on the brink of a "rebelution."

With over 16 million hits to their website TheRebelution.com, Alex and Brett Harris are leading the charge in a growing movement of Christian young people who are rebelling against the low expectations of their culture by choosing to "do hard things" for the glory of God.

Written when they were 18 years old, Do Hard Things is the Harris twins' revolutionary message in its purest and most compelling form, giving readers a tangible glimpse of what is possible for teens who actively resist cultural lies that limit their potential.

Combating the idea of adolescence as a vacation from responsibility, the authors weave together biblical insights, history, and modern examples to redefine the teen years as the launching pad of life and map a clear trajectory for long-term fulfillment and eternal impact.

Written by teens for teens, Do Hard Things is packed with humorous personal anecdotes, practical examples, and stories of real-life rebelutionaries in action. This rallying cry from the heart of revolution already in progress challenges the next generation to lay claim to a brighter future, starting today.

Had my teen years been the launching pad described here, I can't imagine where I might be. I'm still toying around with the same ideas I was in high school, usually paralyzed by the fear of failure when I think of stepping out and trying anything new. Now, a teen pregnancy, early marriage and four kids later, I've found myself firmly planted in my 30's and wondering how I got here so fast.

My hard things involve career choices, lifestyle changes, and personally radical choices for God. I'm planning an all-out assault on complacency and excuses, in whatever form that assault eventually takes. God is stirring in my heart a compassion for the unborn and the women trapped in the lie of a convenient escape, for the desperately poor in Third World nations, for the persecuted and underground church around the world, and living a life clearly marked as different from that of the world. I'm excited to see what God has in store.

As a side note, do you think he has a visit with Kris in the future for me?! That would be pretty cool too.

?

2009-05-26T23:55:00.001-07:00

Does James Bond ever take a sip and exclaim, "Wait a minute! This has been stirred!"?

The Dalles Dog Guy

2009-05-26T21:29:00.001-07:00

This one is for Reese, she's been begging me to take this guy's picture for years but I'm not brave enough to stop him. This is actually a friend of my boss and he's so darn funny.

Anyway, I knew that Reese would get a kick out of it !!

Tomorrow Is A Big Day - Update!!!!

2009-05-25T21:04:00.001-07:00

Update: My mom just heard from Bethany and McKenzie is out of surgery (see below for details). Everything apparently went as planned and McKenzie did very well. She had her cleft lip repaired and parts of her nose redone. I can't wait to see her. As soon as I have pics, I will post them. (I'm assuming there will be bandages on her and it could be a few days before we actually see her).

I can't thank you enough for your prayers. They mean everything to us.

Heather

Tomorrow is huge for our family. Tomorrow Amanda turns 14. To say that I am shocked is an understatement. It goes by so quickly. I'm incredibly proud of the young woman she has turned into. She is loving, caring and unselfish. I'm thankful for her and the love she shows us everyday. Her sense of humor is the best and she keeps us laughing at her antics.

We also have something else that is huge happening tomorrow. McKenzie is having her cleft lip repaired. They warned us prior to her birth that even though they are doing a necessary surgery that parents often go through a grieving process because their child's looks are drastically changing. We all fell in love with her "as is". Bethany just cannot wait for this to be over. Please be praying that McKenzie does as well as she did last time. It's a 6 hour surgery. Bethany's husband has asked that the family stay home so we will not be with them during this difficult time. To say that everyone needs prayers is an understatement. If all goes as planned they will be home on Wednesday.

Memorial Day 2009

2009-05-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm Still On an "I-Love-Kris-Allen" Kick!

2009-05-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

And finding new reasons to love him all the time.

American Idol: The Reveal

2009-05-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight on Idol was amazing!! For awhile I actually forgot that at the end there could be bad news. I also remembered to not go onto Facebook so I really had no idea what was going to happen. I know I voted for Kris close to 100 times so I did what I could.

I couldn't believe the amount of stars that were on tonight. They had Queen Latifah, Rod Stewart, Black Eyed Peas, David Cook, Cindi Lauper, Lionel Ritchie, Santana, Keith Urban, Fergie, Steve Martin (yes, who knew he is a musician), Nick Gentle (I love that guy, he is so funny!!) and the top 13 contestants from this season. I'm sorry if I misspelled anyones' name...I don't have the patience to research everyone - LOL!

It really was a lot of fun to see my favorites come back, including Danny (of course!), Matt, Allison and I even enjoyed seeing Anoop -dawg again. It also reminded me of when Reese was here and most of the contestants were still on. We had so much fun watching it together.

Okay so I wasn't sure what I was going to say next but they just announced the winner and I choked.....the winner is.....KRIS ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh...I'm actually in shock!! Yes, that's beyond amazing!!!! On the downside, they are making him sing that stupid song again!!

Reese, we started this together, I wish I could watch you watch Kris win...I'm sure you are doing a happy dance over in England!!

For those of you who don't watch American Idol you will be happy that I can't report on it anymore.

American Idol: Down To The Top 2

2009-05-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight was it. The last night to choose who will win it all.

Tonight Adam and Kris each sang three songs. The first was their own pick. Adam picked Mad World. It was a little strange but I actually enjoyed it. Kris sang Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone. I love that song and Kris did a great job. Simon even said that Kris won the first round.

The second song was the producer's pick. He picked Change Is Going To Come for Adam and I'm not sure what the song was for Kris, I don't think anyone ever said. I loved Kris. Simon thought he down played the song, but that's what I loved about it. Simon gave the 2nd round to Adam.

The third song was one that Kara (new judge) co-wrote. This was so upsetting to me. It was obviously written w/out Kris in mind. They did this a few years ago also when it was between Blake and Jordan Sparks. The song was obviously written for Jordan and Blake couldn't compete. Needless to say, Kris did not sing it well. The judges even admitted that it was too high of a song for him and they hoped that he wouldn't be judged on that song. I'm sorry but on American Idol this type of junk should not happen. This is their 8th season and they should have this figured out by now. I sure hope that people look past that and vote on Kris because he's worth it not because someone made him sing a song that wasn't meant for him.

Okay, enough ranting from me...I'm off to vote now!

So THAT'S what Army Men Wear Under Their Uniforms!!!

2009-05-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it always happen this way? The day you don't have time to put your clothes on before war, the photogs show up.

Did you see this news story? Nineteen-year-old Zachary Boyd was asleep when his platoon came under assault by Taliban fighters. He had only enough time to grab his gun, don a helmet and body armor before taking his position with his fellow soldiers. This just happened to be the day a photographer was present to snap pictures of him in his red t-shirt, pink "I Love NY" boxers and flip flops.

Click here for the original news story.

American Idol: Top 3 Elimination

2009-05-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me just say that I am ripping ticked. I went against my better judgment and decided to check facebook before watching American Idol. First thing up was one of my friends from the East coast talking about who gets kicked off. So, as of this moment, I know who goes home. I am going to do a play by play again this week. Hopefully it's okay with you guys, it's easier for me, and I will try not to give it away.

Of course it is dragging on and on. Ryan is calling Danny out and Danny says he's unsure if he'll move on or not. They are showing clips of his return home for a parade. He's very tearful as people are screaming for him. As he states it, it's going from tragedy to triumph. Of course they are not going to tell us at the beginning of the show what's going to happen (even though I already know...insert huge angry face over the fact that I know!!!!!)

Now onto Kris and his hometown. It's so cool to watch the clips of these guys going home. They are in shock over how much people love them. His parents are so emotional over him, he is deeply loved by them. Of course they aren't telling yet (insert another huge angry face because I know).

Now Jordan Sparks is singing. She won a couple years ago. I like her a lot more now that I don't have to see her every week. I couldn't stand it when she was on AI. I'm just fastforwarding it so I can move on.

It's now Adam's turn and his trip home. Man, does he get anymore annoying...apparently he does! Too prove I'm not completely without a heart, they show him going to the children's theater place where he went as a child and he talks with the kids. It was really cute. Okay, can't stand it anymore, fastforwarding again . I love DVR.

Now it's time for Katie Perry to sing and Danny just stated he's done and wants to know what's going to happen and is sick of dragging it on. I agree Danny! Oh nice Katie Perry is wearing this nasty outfit with Adam's name on it. Okay, fastforwarding again! Bummer, I only made it half way through and now I'm caught up :(

The first person competing in the finale is....Kris! Reese you saw the potential there!

Ryan just stated "Who competes against Kris?" The person competing is...Adam. Well, no surprise. To say that I am completely bummed is an understatement. I love Danny!! Insert gigantic, colossal sized angry face!!!! :( I love Kris too, but not sure he can compete against Adam.

American Idol: Top 3

2009-05-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight was fantastic. Danny, Kris & Adam each sang two songs.

The first set of songs were judge's choice. Paula picked Dance Little Sister for Danny. I have never heard the song but he did a great job at it. Randy & Kara picked Apologize for Kris. I have waited all season for Kris to sing Apologize. It was awesome. Randy & Kara were mad because he stayed true to the song. I thought it was a great choice and Kris was smart to do the song as it's written. Simon chose One by U2 for Adam. As usual, I didn't get it and he got on my nerves.

For the second half of the show the contestant's picked their own. Danny picked You Are So Beautiful To Me by Joe Cocker. It's not a song I like but his vocals were right on. Kris did Heartless by Kanye West. The minute he announced his song I was sure it was a mistake but it was amazing! Randy even said it was better then the original. Kris proved how much talent he has tonight. Adam picked Crying by Aerosmith and for the very first time I loved him. He didn't twist it, he didn't dramatize it, he just sang it.

I don't know whose going home tomorrow. I think it's a total toss up between Kris and Danny. I wish that the finale would be Kris and Danny but I highly doubt that's going to happen.

Reese, quickly, very quickly, find Kris' performances. You are going to love him tonight. I just went to the American Idol site but they aren't listed yet. I'm hoping that by the time you get up they are there.

Firsts

2009-05-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

A partial lists of my "firsts" from the past few weeks:

I started the camera class. Finally, someone is explaining my Canon to me. My knowledge has increased by 200%, which would really be saying something if I'd had any level of understanding in the first place...
I listed to The Beatles. Then I listened to them again. And again. And again. And again. And... I'm not a fan. I wouldn't have even listened the first time, but Tim decided to really acquaint himself with their music, and since his studio is across a tiny hall from our bedroom I had to listen too. I'm glad I was born after their prime.
I bought a U2 CD, then I listened to it. I've always had a hunch I'd like them if I took the time to listen. I was only 25% wrong. Yes, I like them minus 25%.... whatever that means.
I started reading Peter Pan. JM Barrie had the most enchanting imagination. I hope he's in heaven. I want to chat with him.
I met with a neurosurgeon. Fun stuff. He wants to cut my neck open and drill my offending disc out. I'm not so sure.
My daughter gave me a pedicure last night. Lucky for me, she's decided she wants to be a cosmetologist. I have cute red toenails right now.
I cleared out the space under the window in my bedroom and put a small desk there, which is where I'm sitting right now. It's my space and I love it! I don't have many spaces that I have any control of in my house- my techie husband has indulged in his love of technology and what I want comes second. There was a time that this arrangement used to infuriate me. Now I love him for who he is and appreciate small victories, like desks under windows that are all mine. I have just begun to decorate my space: I have a picture of fairies in a meadow, the pressed flowers my Grandmother framed over my great-great Grandmother's napkin and gave me, a few writing books and my Bible, and a ladybug mug with pens and pencils. My mom called me "ladybug" when I was little. I love ladybugs. I also have pictures of my brother Jason, Jonas, my friends Alberto and Christina and their family, and the picture of me squeezing Tim's American buns the day he got home from Kuwait in 2007. (That's a post I never got to!)

Any firsts for you these days?

Book Review: The Girls from Ames

2009-05-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

For secretaries day my boss bought me this book. Overall I really enjoyed it. It's written about 11 girls that have been friends for 30-40 years and the story of women's' friendships.

There were several things in the book I could really relate to in my own relationships. One was the way one of the women explained what her friendships mean to her. She stated this "Having these women in my world has meant not only acceptance, but radiant joy and laughter that knocks me out of my chair. Through our darkest moments, we have lifted each other up. In every moment of grief we've shared, our laughter is a life vest, a secure promise that we will not go under." That is powerful and oh, so very true. I need my girls, desperately at times. There have been times of deep grief that they have just surrounded me with an "I'm here" and they don't leave. I can never repay my friends for the love they have given me.

There were some things in this book I absolutely could not condone or relate too and greatly disturbed me. In fact when they speak about one friend choosing to abort a child with a disability I almost threw the book away. I chose to keep reading because I was curious to learn about these women and their friendships.

Another thing that was really interesting to me is that they state that life long friends tend to be somewhat distant in their twenties and then in their late thirties they realize how much they need each other and make efforts to spend time together. They say that in their twenties they are so busy getting married, having babies, pursuing careers that their friendships kind of go to the side. Now that I am in my thirties, I see that. In my twenties there are a few of my friendships that I didn't put as much effort into as I should have. Now, I realize how much I need them and I try to make a better effort.

I can't decide if I should recommend the book or not. It was an interesting read, one I could relate to at times and one that disturbed me greatly at times. I know that doesn't tell you much but it is a story about the complete lives of 11 women. There are times of great sadness, hardships, grief and loss and how their friends loved them through it.

Poppies

2009-05-07T04:39:00.001-07:00

I've started a camera class, to help acquaint me with the camera I bought last year and the techniques I need to use it properly. While I don't have official homework, I am supposed to be taking pictures while experimenting with different settings. I'm still sorting through the concepts of shutter speed and aperture and how they relate to lighting, motion, and subject when I'm taking pictures. We also covered ISO- which I sort of understood already- and metering, which flew so far over my head that I'm proud to be able to recall the word "metering".

For the next few weeks I'll probably be posting some of the pictures I take. These poppies are from my back "garden" this morning. I don't know how I did as far as technicalities, but I love the blurred poppy in the background and the contrasting colors.

There are many cool old churches around here, one in particular that I'd like to visit with my camera. They all have amazing, crumbly old cemeteries. I'll make a point of going there soon and snapping some pics.

Cheers!

Top 4: Elimination Night

2009-05-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm going to type it as I watch it tonight.

Of course they are going to drag it out tonight with Ryan putting them in their normal line and saying:

Allison is....

Danny is....

Adam is....

Kris is....

The one going to safety is.....Kris! That's awesome. I don't really know if the other three are technically the bottom three or what.

Every week I wonder what star is going to sing on elimination night and tonight I'm thrilled to find out it's Chris Daughtry (No Doubt and Paula Abdul also sang, but Daughtry is the highlight for me). That guy has mass talent! We love watching him. New CD coming out in July, I'm sure Dan will buy it the second it's released. Daughtry is one of the few idols we actually agreed upon. There was no arguing in the house that year :)

This is killing me...who is going home?? I'm going to drag it out for you guys, just like the torture that is happening to me right now. Another commercial, that's the nasty thing about watching a show live. I think this is the only show that I watch live.

I did just realize something. They said that this is the exact week, three years ago that Daughtry was kicked off. It was a total shock, everyone thought he was going to win the whole thing. You think it could happen again? You think Adam could go? Oh, commercial over, only ten minutes left in the show. We'll know in a second.

Ryan just announced it's all random order. The 2nd person safe is....Adam. Okay, so nevermind what I just said. So, it's down to Danny & Allison. The panic is starting!! I'm glad I voted 125 times last night.

The one going home is.....Allison.

Y-E-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My votes counted - LOL!!! Actually, I think that Allison is awesome. I really wish that the three going on would be Allison, Kris & Danny.

Next week will be really interesting. Down to the bottom three.

American Idol: Top 4

2009-05-06T00:01:00.001-07:00

Okay, it's midnight so I'm going to do this quickly. I know that Reese will be up soon (or up now) so I need to get this posted :)

Tonight was a fun night. It was Rock N Roll night. I was a little worried about this because Adam & Allison are clearly shoe-ins for this type of music and Kris & Danny are more pop. It turned out really interesting though. Adam did A Whole Lot of Love by Led Zepplin. Again, didn't like. I really hate the drama. All the judges said that it was amazing and no one could top it. I guess Dan got sick of our comments because we were told we couldn't comment anymore - LOL! Allison did Cry Baby by Janice Joplin. I thought she did okay, but the judges didn't like it at all (that gives me hope for Kris). Kris did Come Together by The Beatles and I thought he did a really good job. Danny did Dream On, I think by Aerosmith. I thought it was great until the very end and Simon stated it was like watching a horror show. I hate to admit it, but it was painful. The end scream was scarey, but he's still my favorite. The judges did give him props for trying something new.

And, I have to give myself props - I voted for Danny 125 times. I didn't even realize it. I voted for about half an hour straight and when I looked at my phone I was pretty impressed. What makes it even more impressive is that Dan just called me from work, and he forgot to vote for Adam. Yes!! LOL! He did just admit that Danny is his second favorite, so he'd be okay with him winning too.

Truthfully, I can't begin to guess who is going home tomorrow. I would like for Adam to go, but am pretty sure it will be either Allison or Kris. She's been in the bottom the last few weeks and didn't get much love from the judges tonight, so it should be an interesting show tomorrow.

I should go re-read this,but I have to be up in 6 1/2 hours, so I'm posting as is. Hope it's okay.

Still Smiling

2009-05-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

One thing that I have learned through adversity and watching my nephew and niece go through painful medical procedures and just a difficult life in general is that smiling just makes it better. Three days after having a feeding tube inserted, surgery on her eye and being blind for several days McKenzie started smiling again on her way home. It was the first smile my sister had seen since the surgery and I was lucky enough to catch it.

Thank you so much for your prayers. McKenzie is doing awesome. She even was able to get the eye patch off today. We praise God daily for McKenzie, thank you for praying with us.

I Love Where I Live

2009-04-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today around 4:00 Dan decided to go for a motorcycle ride, but then he decided he should wait for me to get off of work. That was a good thought. Some of you may remember, I love to go on the motorcycle. It's actually the place that I think and pray the most. I have nothing to do back there but thank God for the beautiful surroundings. There is no one else to talk to, so I may as well talk to the one who made it all.

This trip was especially beautiful because this one of the times in the year that everything is green and the wild flowers are blooming everywhere. The other especially pretty time of year is the fall, the colors are even more amazing then.

When we got to the look out point, here is the view that was waiting for us:

Also, McKenzie had her first set of surgeries today. She had a feeding tube put in her tummy and her lower eye lid done. She's doing very well and the surgery was successful. I'm going to Portland tomorrow evening with some friends for a girls' night away and then Saturday we will bring Bethany & McKenzie home! Please continue that she stays healthy and that there are not any complications.

American Idol: Top 5 Elimination

2009-04-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

Don't watch if you don't want to know who gets kicked off!! :)

Tonight was bittersweet on American Idol. Adam made it to the bottom three, an old favorite of mine was back on stage, Taylor Hicks!! I love that guy and Matt went home. Yep, that's the bitter part of the evening. We knew it was coming but it's sad.

So, Adam in the bottom three tells me that America isn't completely crazy and maybe, just maybe, there is hope that he might go home before the finals.

The bottom three were Matt, Adam & Kris. Every week they do the bottom three and then at some point they let one of the contestants go back to their seats. I thought for sure it would be Adam, but no...it was Kris. So, bottom two are Adam & Matt. That gives me even more hope.

A side note: I was wondering who voted for Adam in our poll and, it was Amanda. It cracked me up! Go girl..she knows how to vote right!

Burdens

2009-04-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

Any concern too small to be a prayer is too small to be a burden.
~ Corrie ten Boom

Pure Torture? How About These Movies?

2009-04-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Fox News posted this list of movies that are pure torture to watch. Do you agree?

Basic Instinct 2
Battlefield Earth
Catwoman
Gigli
From Justin To Kelly
The Postman
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot
Striptease
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Waterworld

I've seen Catwoman, The Postman, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. I fell asleep during Waterworld. It was a long, long, long time ago.

They forgot to add "White Chicks". (Sorry, Dan.)

American Idol: Top 5

2009-04-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight was Rat Pack night. I was not looking foward to this because I didn't think I would know any of the songs. It turns out I knew almost all of them. It actually was really good tonight!

Kris did The Way You Look Tonight and it was fantastic, although Simon thought it was "wet" whatever the heck that means. Allison did Someone To Watch Over Me and she did a really good job. I loved her hair tonight, she had black in with the bright red. Matt did My Funny Valentine. Simon even said that at that point he was the only believable and authentic performance. Danny did Come Rain or Come Shine and he was INCREDIBLE! Simon actually said that he was stellar, unbelievable and there to prove a point. Adam did Feeling Good. Dan loved him, I personally thought it was theatrical and over the top, but I guess that is just Adam.

I think the bottom three will probably be Matt, Allison and Kris. I really don't know who will go home, but I'm not taking any chances, I voted for Danny 50 times this evening.

On a sidenote: Amy, awhile back you mention that Adam was rejected by his own mom but I've been noticing his mom sitting in the audiance. I remembered that there was this guy who was raised by his grandma. Is this who you are thinking of? If so, you don't have to like Adam due to guilt anymore. :)

My Newest Obsession!

2009-04-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

My name is Heather, and I'm addicted to flowers!

Seriously, I think I have a problem, although, it is a pretty one :) I have always wanted a pretty yard but have recently come to terms with the fact that I won't have one due to several reasons. One of the reasons is we have three dogs, the other is that our backyard is situated so that there is never any shade and it gets over 100 during parts of the summer and my flowers just die back there. We could plant trees and try other methods, but with three dogs it just doesn't work. We did put gravel in the backyard and turned it into a volleyball court and also put a fire pit back there, so that's fun.

I'm getting away from my original post. I've found that I really enjoy planting flowers, watching them grow and the last couple of weekends have been so beautiful that I just haven't been able to resist. So, here's the front of our house now. Last year the only flowers I had were the ones in the oblong wine barrel down on the ground. Now, look what I have done. I have my eye on a few more additions too!

None of these look fantastic, but I know in a few weeks they will have spread out and filled out their pots and when they do, I will take more pics :)

This pot is right at my front door

This is the only pot I had last year out front. Here is what it looked like then. This barrel is on the right side of my stairs.

My newest addition. I put this together Sunday night. It's my Mother's Day present! LOL! I had to buy it early because there are only two stores in town that have these barrels and once they are gone, they don't get anymore. It's on the left side of my stairs.

Looking at the house from the bottom of the stairs, along with our cat, Callie.

These pots are on either side of the stair case at the top. I was supposed to go back to the store and buy two flowers to go in my hanging baskets and I came back with enough flowers and pots to do two of these. I left them in the car so Dan wouldn't figure it out and made sure to have them in place before he got up the next morning. Pretty sneaky!

Here is the other one on the other side of the stairs. The pot that isn't really blooming yet are going to be full of daises! I can't wait, they are my favorite flower!

This is the view from one side of the porch

Here is the other side of the porch :)

Here is the view from the street.

I am sure I have bored you to death, but Reese was wanting to see my obsession.

None of this was here when she left 4 short weeks ago!

Stay tuned..American Idol tonight! Reese has a fun little poll going on to see

who we think will leave tomorrow.

iPod Shuffle

2009-04-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

I had an optometry appointment today, and while my eyes dilated so the doc could stare deep into my soul, I started the iPod on shuffle to see what I came up with. It took awhile so I managed 15 songs. Here we go:

When I Grow Up by Nicole C Mullin
Tonight Tonight Tonight by Genesis
Author of Life by Phil Joel
See You by Shaun Groves
We Make Alot of Love by Harry Connick, Jr.
Easy To Love by HCJ
The Cinema Show by Genesis
Chanson du Vieux Carre by HCJ
Open Skies by David Crowder Band
Never Die by Creed
Easy To Ignore by Sixpence None the Richer
Child by Tait
Say It by Rihanna
Lord, I Don't Know (Live) by Newsboys
Words I Couldn't Say by Rascal Flatts

Hearing the Phil Joel song reminded me of a funny moment in Oregon a couple of weeks ago. I was talking to my Dad and brother, trying to remember the name of "that bassist that used to be with The Newsboys, you know the one that made a couple of albums on his own... the blond guy with the long hair?" My Dad gave me a goofy smile, "You mean Phil Joel? How could you not think of that right now?!"

My Dad's name is Phil, my brother's is Joel.

Duh.

Update! My American Idol tid-bit: if you need a reason to love my Matt, click here. This is the night I became his cheerleader!

Heather's 8 Things

2009-04-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Kayren over at Everythings Coming Up Daisy's tagged both Reese and I on 8 Things.

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO:
1. Summer, I love the heat
2. A good hike
3. A long bikeride
4. Girls weekend
5. An evening with Reese :)
6. A fun day with the kids
7. Flower shopping
8. Hanging out with my family

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:
1. Held my tongue when I wanted to S-C-R-E-A-M at a client
2. Read blogs
3. Did laundry
4. Read my book
5. Watched American Idol
6. Took the kids to school
7. Read the book "Puff The Magic Dragon"
8. Had lunch with friends

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO:
1. Travel
2. Sing
3. Stay home with the kids
4. Run my own business
5. Be a doula
6. Adopt
7. Play the piano
8. Spend hours upon hours in a bookstore

8 SHOWS I WATCH:
1. American Idol
2. American Chopper
3. Jon & Kate Plus 8
4. Little People Big World
5. Man v. Wild
6. Dog The Bounty Hunter
7. 18 Kids and Counting
8. Little Bear

I'm not going to tag anyone, because, I don't know 8 people to tag :)

Reese's 8 Things

2009-04-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Kayren at Everything's Coming Up Daisies. Rather than intending to post mine when the time is right and after I've found the correct picture (remember the high school year book picture post, Kayren?! I still intend to get to it...), I thought I should do this one right away.

Here's how 8 THINGS works:

Mention the person that tagged you.
Complete the lists of 8's.
Tag 8 of your wonderful bloggy friends.
Go tell them you tagged them!

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO:

Fitting into the jeans I wore in Autumn 2007. I miss being that small.
Going back to school and, eventually, graduating with a degree.
Summer. It's time.
My morning cup of tea.
Dates with Tim.
Finding a way to effortlessly slip the word "Michiganders" into casual conversation.
Living without pain.
Falling asleep.

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:

Laundry: I washed it in my tiny English washer then dried it on the line.
Walked to and from The Boys' school three times.
Took a shower.
Emailed Heather.
Sat and chatted with my friend Linda. She's so fun and funny!
Washed and moved the patio furniture.
Let Kiki play Bubble Breaker on my cell phone in return for her making Sloppy Joes for dinner. Sweet.
Fell asleep reading a book.

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO:

Fly.
Wake up one morning and automatically be trained in my chosen career field.
Chat with world leaders on my whim.
Afford to hire a full-time housekeeper and personal chef.
Eat whatever I wanted and never gain a pound over 125.
Invent "sleep concentrate", some sort of concoction that allowed a person to sleep one hour and feel like they'd slept 5. I'd take it and sleep 3 hours a night.
Finally get the packages I mailed to myself a week before I left America.
Be a vegan without having the temptations to eat meat and dairy.

8 SHOWS I WATCH:

Well... none at all, except little glimpses of the kids' cartoons now and then.

8 BLOGGERS TAGGED:

The first 8 who see this and want to jump on the meme bandwagon.

And With That, I'm Officially Old!

2009-04-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's not so much age that makes a Mama old, it's how old her kids are. Now that I have two teenagers in the house, I'm old. But lest I make this about me...

Happy 13th Birthday, Kristine!!!

My sweet Princess got a special trip to the beauty salon a couple of days ago. I even let her skip school for the occasion. Here she is, post hair cut and color.

I love my girl so much. I pray The Lord blesses her with wisdom and grace as she walks through her teen years. Kiki, you light up my life!

Elimination Night: Top 7 (Again!)

2009-04-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

If you don't want to see what happened on American Idol,

please don't read on!

Tonight was sheer torture. I'm not a disco fan and they brought on some frightening scary people, who in their prime I am sure were good, but now are...not so good! Sorry Kayren, no offense if you enjoyed it. Eventually I just had to pause the TV so I could fastforward.

I was surprised when instantly Lil Rounds went home. Usually they drag it out so long but she was the first name they called and immediately told her she was going home. The second one going home is Anoop. He has come such a long way, but it was time.

The bottom three ended up being Anoop, Allison & Lil Rounds. I have to say I was SHOCKED about Allison being there.

Kayren - For the last couple of years they have done theme weeks almost every week on American Idol and disco week is usually one of the themes. Also, I had a good laugh about disconnecting my hubby's cell service. That's not a bad plan at all. I just double checked with him and he did vote at least 25 times for Adam last night.

American Idol - Top 7 (Again!)

2009-04-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

Are you guys sick of my American Idol play by play? At first I was doing it for Reese, but last week I learned that she can pretty much watch the whole show online. I debated about doing it again, but it's something to talk about so I decided to go ahead :)

Tonight was disco night, and we are still the Top 7 since they saved Matt last week. Lil Rounds started the evening with She's Every Woman, and I wasn't impressed. I really thought she would be one of the powerhouse singers but it seems like she holds back every night. Next was Kris. He did She Works Hard For The Money. It was amazing. I thought it was going to be terrible, but he made it his own and a few of the judges called him brilliant. Then onto Danny, my favorite! He did September and as always he did a great job. Allison did Hot Stuff. I like her, but didn't like the song. Adam did If I Can't Have You and it was okay...sorry, still don't get him. Matt did Staying Alive. It was okay, I'm not sure it will save him this week though. Anoop did Dim All The Lights and he did a fairly good job. I think he gets better all the time, but I'm not sure he'll make it another week.

I'm not into disco at all, or this era of music for that matter, so most songs were very unfamiliar to me. I really don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I assume the bottom three will be Lil Rounds, Anoop and Matt with Lil Rounds going home for sure. I think it's a toss up between Anoop and Matt. After these bottom three go home it's going to be a pretty tight competition in my mind. I'm thinking that the finals will be Danny & Adam but who knows how America will vote.

McKenzie

2009-04-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

Remember this post? Not too pretty was it? I am so thankful that God did not leave us there. I am so thankful that even when we throw our fits and we ask why and get angry that he is patient with us. I am so thankful that we fell instantly and madly in love with her. She is beautiful, just the way she is. I love watching my children with her. I am amazed by the the love and understanding my children show to others that the world may not perceive as "normal" because they have had James and now McKenzie in their lives at such young ages. I do not think that if I had been put in the same situations as them at their ages that I would be as loving and as compassionate.

I went back and re-read my post and I was struck by my last paragraph

I also know that after the storm has passed, and the sun is shining, the landscape will have changed, all of us will have changed. We will have loved deeper then ever before, cried harder and prayed longer. Our family will never be the same. No matter what the outcome, we will have changed for the better, but right now it is painful and so very hard!

That is us! We have changed for the better and the landscape is beautiful here. McKenzie is a shining star. She is adored and loved. I can't imagine loving this little girl more than we do. There will be challenges ahead and there will be tough moments but we will all be okay.

I wanted to give you an update on McKenzie. She is doing beautifully. She coos, laughs, smiles, plays, holds her head up and has us totally and completely wrapped around her little finger. Bethany has been to countless doctors with McKenzie and they are all saying that she's right where she needs to be for a 5 month old. She may be slightly delayed, but she was also 6 weeks early and has had a lot to overcome in 5 months.

We do need some prayers as we are heading into her surgeries. On April 30th she will have a feeding tube put in her stomach and she will have an eye surgery which will reconstruct the lower lid of her "good" eye. Then on May 26th (Amanda's 14th birthday) she will have surgery on her lip and for the first time in her life we will get to see her without tape all over her face. We cannot wait for the process to begin for McKenzie.

Thanks for praying!

My Hometown

2009-04-16T06:40:00.001-07:00

I've finally begun sorting through the pictures I took while in America. Not a small task, since my Canon had 314 pictures, and I'm not sure what my Sony CyberShot has. Seriously, I wish I had taken more. I should have had my camera with me at all times. There are so many shots I missed.

This is from the cemetery where Jonas is buried. Isn't it awesome? I wish it had been a clear, no-clouds day; a picture without the clouds would have been nice. In the distance is a cherry orchard, not yet in bloom.

My hometown, from the lookout by the park. The morning fog and low clouds were just burning off; you can see them in the distance. Across the river is the State of Washington.

Ian and I enjoyed a sunny walk by the river. I was experimenting taking black and white photos, thinking I'd enlarge them and hang them on my walls but now I'm not sure. I like the color ones better, but I didn't get very many.

Eagles' Caves overlook the west side of town and are as much a part of the town as the river is. Many infamous things- both fictitious and not- have taken place there.

I love my town!

Elimintation Night: Top 7

2009-04-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Don't Read If You Don't Want To Know What Happened :)

I have to tell you that when I first learned of the save on American Idol, I thought it was ridiculous. But, tonight, I'm glad they have it, and I'm glad they used it.

Tonight the bottom three was Anoop, Lil Rounds and Matt. I seriously thought that it would be Lil Rounds, I never imagined it would be Matt. But, I was wrong. It was Matt, and thankfully, they saved him. I grew to really like Matt by watching Reese, she really enjoyed watching him and I learned to appreciate his talent. He's really gifted, he's not always consistent, which is a big downfall for him so hopefully he can do well next week and stay in.

The bad news, next week two go home.

American Idol - Top 7

2009-04-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's time for my weekly rundown of American Idol. Looking back this week, apparently this is all I'm capable of, considering I didn't do any other posts. So not good!

Anyway, last night was songs from movies night. I wasn't that impressed. The night started off with Allison. She did I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. One of my all time favorite songs. Truthfully, I didn't like it. It sounded like it was too low for her range. Anoop did Everything I Do and it was great, I was really surprised at how well he did. Adam did Born to Be Wild. I have no comment. Danny did Endless Love and of course did an excellent job :) Kris did Falling Slowly. I have never heard that song but he did a pretty good job. Lil Rounds did The Rose, which always makes me think of Amy. I guess I'm just not a fan of hers either. She did okay, but it wasn't wonderful. And, Matt did Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman. It was pretty good.

Like I said, no one stood out as fantastic to me. I thought Danny and Anoop were really good and everyone else was just okay. I was looking around online because I couldn't remember what one of the contestants sang and I just found out that you can pretty much watch the whole show right here.

I actually was thinking Anoop might go home tonight but after last night, I have no clue. He did a really good job where some of the others just didn't do well. I think it could be Lil Rounds who goes tonight.

Everyone Needs Friends Like This

2009-04-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs friends like Linda and Vicky.

Linda, when she called to check on Tim and the kids, was so surprised that I was home that she could only scream. Literally. She started screaming when Tim told her I was here and kept going for a bit after I got on the phone. If you don't have anyone to scream for you after a long absence, go find someone. It's priceless.

Vicky hugged me, stood back and said, "You've lost weight." That too is priceless, twice as much so when she repeated it the next day. Find one of these friends too.

Another sort of friend to get immediately is the sort that allows you to stay in her house for 6 weeks without a word of complaint. I have several friends who would likely do this for me, but this time it was Heather. A place to crash while visiting my sister and family is priceless, especially when the people I'm staying with are like family in every way but actual blood.

So many people took care of me, as well as my family, while I was away. Vicky, Linda and Javare' all took care of our kids when Tim had work responsibilities. Christina gave me incredible deals on Mary Kay products, Andreanna watched Ian for me, Billie Wii bowled with me for some lighthearted, stress-relieving fun, Holly offered her sweet smile and laughs over dinner out, and Hannah made me smile and cry and remember how blessed I am to have such a special sister. Mom drove me to the Air Force Base where I eventually got a flight out, Dad was his usual quiet and comforting self, Renato and Nancy took care of me as any parents would, and many more prayed for us during this time of separation.

Thank you.

Elimintation Night: Top 8

2009-04-08T22:02:00.001-07:00

I was one off on the bottom three. The bottom three are Anoop, Scott & Lil Rounds. I'm so glad that Kris didn't make it there.

Scott is out. The judges were pretty stumped on if they should use the save or not, but in the end they let him go.

That's it for this week. So far my favorite is still in...Go Danny, so I'm really happy!

American Idol!

2009-04-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

Okay for those of you that hate American Idol, look the other way because this post is all AI! My family and I are huge AI fans and while Reese was here she actually got hooked on it too, even though she didn't want too! Reese has never seen AI and we only thought she would be able to watch it once, as it turns out, she was able to watch it three or four times. Last night as I sat down to watch it, I really missed her!

So, here's a rundown, although maybe you've already searched the Internet looking for a quick fix. Last night was "sing a song from the year you were born" night. Danny was first, and he was awesome! He did Stand By Me. It was a strange arrangement, but Danny sounded great. Kris did All She Wants to Do Is Dance. Simon said it was forgettable, and unfortunately it was. I know how much you love him. Lil Rounds did What's Love Got To Do With It and sounded just like Tina Turner, she didn't change it at all. She didn't get much love from the judges. Allison did You Can't Make Me Love You by Bonnie Rait. It was awesome. Anoop did True Colors. I thought it was going to be terrible but he really did a great job. Simon said he was a singing yo-yo. One week he's great, the next he's not, then he is again. He even looked better last night. Scott did The Search Is Over by Survivor. He even played the guitar, but it was terrible, he screeched alot. Matt did Part Time Lover. He did excellent, some people gave him a standing O. And now on to Adam (yuck!), he did Mad World from Tears for Fears. Of course, I just plain didn't get it. For some reason, my TV didn't DVR it so I had to go find it online and apparently they ran out of time but Simon gave him a standing O. I love Simon, but I still don't get it!

There's your recap. Who do I think will be in the bottom three tonight? Scott, Kris & Lil Rounds. I sure hope Kris doesn't go home because he is great! I hate to tell ya this Reese, but I fell asleep before I could vote. If Kris goes, it could be my fault, although that would take your whole voting for Kris guilt factor away if he went away ;)

-Heather (somehow I erased my poor Pepsi can, it will be there next time) :)

Status Update

2009-04-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

Go ahead, ask me if I'm still in Oregon. I dare you. 'Cause seriously, do you really think I'd be home after 5 1/2 weeks?! As it happens, I am still in Oregon. I was going to try to catch a flight today to Germany (where Tim is working this week, so he could meet up with me there) but you'll never guess what happened: the flight was canceled!!! Go figure!

Actually, Heather and I are such good friends that we're sharing a cold today. Isn't that generous of us? She's home from work for the second day and we're both flopped down on the family room couches watching tv in our jammies. She's humoring me and watching the Food Network. Or else she's too lethargic to change the channel...

UPDATE: Heather has influenza (as diagnosed by her doc) and both my possible flights for tomorrow (Friday) have been cancelled. Just another day in my new home.

Reese Has NOT Left The Building

2009-03-29T22:26:00.001-07:00

Update: Reese was all checked in and ready for her flight when she learned it had been canceled. So, she's back at home with us with no immediate flight available. Next time I won't post that she's gone until we know for sure she is. Please be praying. At this point she is unsure how she is going to get home without spending a lot of money for a flight back to England.

I have been debating this post all day. There are emotions and thoughts swirling around my head and because of that, it could end up being a jumbled mess. I was hoping to mainly post pictures, thinking that my desk computer might take a camera card so I could actually post pics, but it doesn't so that will have to wait until tomorrow when I'm at work and can download some photos.

Reese left today. At least we think she's leaving. She flies Space A with the Air Force and there's a flight that leaves tomorrow so we are praying she gets on it and is finally able to head home. We had such a good time. I am sure there will be many, many post in the weeks to come as we look through our pics and post about the awesome times.

Today was very hard. Usually she is here for two weeks staying with Tim's parents. This time she was here five weeks, staying with us. We always try to have a no-crying pact when she leaves because it just makes it too hard, and we are getting good at it too. This time, there was no hope for that. We held it together fairly well, pretending it was a normal day and not a day of separation. When the time came and we went our separate ways, I was a bawling mess. In fact, Dan decided that today was not a good day to stay home so we headed to Portland. I realized that both McKenna and I finally stopped weeping at milepost 51, 36 miles from home. Even as I put my girls to bed this evening and prayed for Reese and Ian, there were still many tears.

I am so thankful for Reese. I love her more than words can even say, that's why this post is so hard to articulate, there just are no words.

After I went to Germany, Reese put a quote on our old blog. It said "Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened". That's what I keep thinking about. What a blessing! Never in a million years did I think we would have this opportunity.

We have a lot of posts spinning in our minds. I can't tell you how many times during her stay something quirky would happen and we would run and grab our cameras yelling "There's a post!" Yes, I think after weeks of somewhat silence, there will be a lot of action on the blog.

Safe travels Reese. Love you!

Breakfast

2009-03-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

It's the end of spring break here and I haven't been shopping in awhile. Yesterday my kids said "when are you ever going shopping, there is no food in this house". Luckily Reese came home with bananas yesterday and they were appeased for awhile.

This morning found my son pacing around the house saying "I'm so hungry, I'm so hungry". Poor guy. I offered toast, no he didn't want that. Finally he went for some cereal which he then proclaimed was STALE! Being the good mom that I am and loving to cook so much (notice the sarcasm) and since I did get up early today and had a little extra time I offered to cook my three STARVING children fried eggs.

Well, I learned an important lesson this morning. You leave six eggs on high to cook themselves, it just doesn't work well. I had to go do my hair you know. When I arrived back in the kitchen I found burning, rubbery eggs. Thank goodness the smoke detectors didn't go off and I had just enough time to hurry to McDs for our favorite sausage McMuffins!

Johnny Depp Appreciation Day

2009-03-26T19:06:00.001-07:00

We've noticed a bunch of new views from foreign countries, all looking for pictures of Johnny Depp. We appreciate this unexpected traffic so much that we're posting two more pictures.

If you're grateful, leave comment - in whatever language you speak.

The Pictures Heather Forgot To Post

2009-03-26T18:42:00.001-07:00

These are a little blurry, but worth seeing.

What are friends for, right?

This Post Is a Day Late

2009-03-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

March 22, 2003 was one of the happiest days of my life.

When Tim and I separated in August 1998 the baby bug had already bitten me. Then, facing a prolonged separation and devastating divorce, I felt I was destined to have only two kids. I struggled in the following years with trying to come to terms with the fact that God may not have more children in mind for me.

In 2000 Tim and I began the process of reconciliation, and renewed our marriage vows in May 2001. It was a joyous time, as we set off tentatively back on the path of marriage. People began dropping hints that we should have more kids, but we weren't ready yet.

In 2001, in the week following the terrorist attacks, Tim began mulling over the idea of joining the US Military. By October 2001 he had visited the Air Force recruiter and in January 2002 he left for Basic Training. He spent the rest of the year in training for his chosen career. We lived with him that year for only 3 1/2 months, in Biloxi, MS.

February 2003: we arrive at our first duty station, Spangdahlem AB, Germany. For the first time in years circumstances were right for having a baby. After a long year of physical separation, we were ready in more ways than one to start "trying"!

It started March 17th. I saw the kids off to school from my front door (they rode an American school bus), then Tim off to work. By 9am I was back in bed sleeping, and up again a little after noon. I got pretty good at doing a whirlwind cleaning job that looked liked I'd been working for most of the day. This continued all week. I was so embarrassed by my apparent laziness that I didn't mention it to Tim.

I expected my period on Friday, and when the day was over I still couldn't imagine that I might be pregnant. We went to a local Italian restaurant and I felt sick from the cigarette smoke. After dinner, we went to base to rent a movie. I was so tired I couldn't stand up. I sat on a low shelf and waited for Tim and the kids to choose the movie so we could go.

Saturday, March 22: I'm in the kitchen making breakfast and I'm nauseated and sweating, wondering what on earth might be wrong with me. I actually had a pregnancy test in my dresser drawer but didn't want to use it. It had been so long since I'd been pregnant that it was almost like the first time when I thought it couldn't really happen to me. I remember the moment well when I thought, "I guess I could be pregnant. I might as well do the test and see. I could always buy another one later if I need to."

I left the biscuits in the oven, grabbed the test and sneaked into the bathroom. I peed on the stick and put it on the side of the bath tub. "Jesus, show me something good!" I whispered.

I had been planning all the cool and creative ways I could tell Tim and the kids for years. But seeing the second line appear swept all my good ideas away. I began to shake and my heart was beating quickly. All I could do was grab the test and bolt up the stairs, where I was crying and yelling to Tim about how I was pregnant. Tim cried, I cried, Kristine cried, Sean smiled like his face was gonna break. Later, on November 26 of the same year, Sean said, "Zach came just to make us happy." He was right, and the happiness began on March 22.

Having Zach was a physical sign of a new era for our family. God has been good to us, and it's never as obvious and when you look at the 2 little miracles He added to our family in 2003 and in 2005. They are proof that God can do anything.

Missing So Much About Home

2009-03-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in my hometown for a month now. It’s a nice time to be here, as the hills around the town turn emerald green before finally fading to brown in the semi-arid summertime. The trees and bushes are still bare, but the buds are popping out as quickly as the crocuses, violets and daffodils while the weather slowly and stubbornly becomes warmer. Spring is definitely here.

I’m not still here with some weird project of observing the weather and landscape changes, though. I just can’t get home yet. I travelled here on a military “Space Available” flight, and plan to get home the same way. Traveling without my military sponsor (AKA: Tim) means limited travel opportunities for me. I’m only allowed to travel from an in-States location to an overseas one, which means I have to wait around for a flight from the West Coast to Germany or the UK. Those don’t show up very often.

So I’m here looking at trees and hills. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t getting a tad-bit bored and much more homesick. I wake up every day with thoughts of what I’d bake if I was home. That’s the thing bugging me most: not being able to bake. Heather doesn’t bake so she doesn’t have many of the necessary supplies, and even if she did bake, she and her family are still recovering from losing most of their processions in the fire.

Oddly enough, I actually miss my apron. How strange is that? My apron, my bowl scraper, my silicone baking mats… Heaven for me might just be a bakery.

It turns out that baking has become a ritual much like drinking tea: the process is as important as the end result. I love waking with an urge to make something specific, the smells and the dusty flour, burying my hands in the dough… everything. Microwaving water for tea is missing as much meaning as buying a pack of scones/cookies/bread at the store.

So, please pray that my baking supplies and I are united again soon. If Heaven is a bakery, then hell might be anywhere that I can’t bake! LOL!

I Did It!

2009-03-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Fifteen months ago, when Reese came for her annual visit, we took a little trip into Portland where we were both supposed to get our noses pierced. Let me just say that Reese was brave and I wasn't. I backed out on her, but she went ahead with it. I have regretted it ever since. She knows that and frequently has given me little pushes to go for it.

One day last week we were sitting at the kitchen table when she blurts out "I've had a terrible day and would love to watch someone shove a hole through your nose!". Now, that's true friendship! LOL! I wasn't about to jump out of my seat and run down to the piercer because knowing Reese, she would have asked to do the piercing herself to get her aggressions out :) We did have several discussions about it through the week though and I knew I wanted her with me and that time was running short (or so I thought, lucky for me she's still here!). So, Friday I made the fateful decision to go for it. Once I made that decision I was all nerves the rest of the day.

Here I am at home, getting ready to leave.

Walking in for my torture. Dan's comment was "I can't miss this!" Apparently he thinks I'll back out, but I have two tattoos and my upper ear pierced. Although, I must admit, backing out sounded good at the time.

Getting my nose cleaned.

There are pictures of me having it done, but really they are terrible so I think I will save you the bloody details. Let me just add that apparently the piercer said "oops, we've got a bleeder". Yeah, not pleasant.

Here I am admiring my piercing, sorry you can't see it :) Let me tell you, I love it!

Closing Doors

2009-03-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished helping my sister pack up the remnants of her old life. We packed and tossed and cleaned for two days and then shut the door of her apartment, as well as the door to the past. What a momentous moment for her, closing that door. She's very guarded with her emotions and even if she wasn't she's taken such a beating in the past six weeks so I'm sure she had mixed feelings.

Had someone told me two months ago Jonas could make me do anything at all, I'd have laughed at them. Yet I found myself cleaning out his fridge and vacuuming his bedroom, working alongside my sister- his wife- in the way he should have been. So many things left undone and unsaid and unaccounted for, so many lives hanging on, stopped as if in midsentence and grappling with how to say what they had hoped to say- needed to say.

I've learned that suicide is truly a selfish act. Did I tell you Jonas committed suicide? Well, he did. He chose to leave a life that so many struggle to hold on to, a life that some endure such hardships as chemotherapy and open-heart surgery to continue. In the aftermath is so much anguish, such pain and anger and grief and turmoil. Eveyone tries to make sense of it while keeping their tidy little world views.

And what can I do? Nothing big, just the little acts of love and sacrifice. My sister doesn't need me to swoop in with big intentions and lofty goals. Instead, I babysit for her, drive her to appointments, help her clean the apartment where her life ended and the next began. Love her. Love her kids. What else is there?

What can you do? Pass on The Father's love to those around you. You never know who has thoughts so dark they can't think through them. You never know when you won't have another chance.

If You Didn't See It, Would You Believe It?

2009-03-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

December, 2008. Tim and I are sitting in church with Dan and Heather. It's one of those progressive churches that wakes its congregants up with coffee, tea and hot chocolate served at the back of the sanctuary. (My church does this too, only it's served at the end of the service, waking people up after the fact.) I glance over at Heather and see that she's HOLDING A PEPSI!!!

IN CHURCH!

A book I saw calls soda "liquid Satan". Could it be that Heather needs deliverance and this was a silent plea for help? Could she be experiencing deep hurt that she needs deliverance from?!

At any rate, I took a picture for posterity.

Paybacks

2009-03-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

In September 2007 Heather and our friend Holly visited me in Germany. It was just turning cooler- the time of year when the weather is great in the daytime and really cold as soon as the sun sets.

Tim had been deployed to Kuwait since May (he returned the day before Holly and Heather left for America), so some of the household To-Do list was left undone. Such as refilling the oil tank. It was bone dry, which meant we didn't have any heat, aside from rather ineffective space heaters.

Heather is one of those perpetually cold people, the kind that shivers under blankets in an 80 degree room. You can imagine what she endured those two weeks (with the exception of a quick jaunt down to Rome where I'm sure she found the weather more agreeable). Poor girl. She was so gracious though, and kept a happy smile on her face, even as she tucked the blanket more tightly around herself as she read on the couch.

Now I'm staying with her.

Do you think I'm cold?

No.

At first I thought she was paying me back for her cold German stay by leading me to a sweltering room on the top floor, but now I think she's showing me what she would have appreciated on her visit to me. Maybe it's just kindness... maybe she's seeking revenge!

But, of course, I'm kidding. I'm so gratfeul that Dan and Heather have allowed me to stay with them and I've been as comfy as can be. Sure, it gets a little toasty in my corner of the house, but I'm truly not complaining. I think there are some temperature control issues in the house, so while I'm sweating it out at night, she's actually shivering in her room. I'd offer to trade her rooms, but I'm thinking she wouldn't be willing to give up her beautiful new bedroom, and I doubt Dan would appreciate sleeping on Ian's cot.

Heather and I have made two "meals" together: chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies on Saturday night, and granola yesterday. I just love eating with Heather's family: they aren't exactly vegetable fans, and as a newly converted vegan, our ideas of meals clash and harmonize in interesting ways. I have some pictures to post later of her family's reactions to avacado and coconut milk. I'm sorry to say I missed getting a picture of Heather scraping her spinach into the garbage. That would have been one to enlarge and hang on the kitchen wall!

Love you, Heather! Thanks for everything. It's been fun!

Listening

2009-02-24T21:57:00.001-08:00

About six months ago Holly and I started the journey to see Reese in England. Actually, we probably started this journey the minute we got back from our last one. We went to see Reese in Germany in September 2007 and decided we would visit again. We really wanted to go back in 09 but didn't think it would work out. The tickets seemed high, the timing seemed wrong, but we had these vouchers for $250 off each ticket and they had to be purchased prior to October, 2008. Eventually the ticket prices plummeted and we decided to go for it. At every turn our tickets fell through. We were beginning to wonder if we should persevere or give up. It's so hard to know when obstacles come in your path if it's a sign to give up and turn around or to keep pushing through to the goal. We really didn't have a clue what the obstacles meant but decided that we would push on because we'd feel terrible if we didn't make this trip.

Are you noticing all the "we"s? (I have no clue how to write that correctly). We wanted to do this. I don't know that we really prayed about it. I prayed that God would show us what to do and that doors would open. I talked, but I don't think that I listened too well.

I will admit that both Holly and I had bad feelings about the trip but we tend to be very nervous people and wracked it up to nerves. Then the fire hit. I remember when we first met with our contractor I told him about the trip and asked if we'd be home by then. There was no way I was leaving Dan and the kids for two weeks living in the unsettled aftermath of a house fire. The contractors exact words to me were "This will be a distant memory by the time your trip comes, don't cancel". As things "progressed" it became more and more apparent that things weren't going to be settled with the house by the time the trip came. I was more upset and uneasy and Holly was having her own obstacles about the trip.

We started talking about canceling the trip but we felt so bad about letting Reese down and possibly loosing all the money we spent on our plane fare. They don't just give you money back because you get cold feet. I actually had lost our itinerary and decided to call US Air and find out exactly when we were leaving and while I was on that call learned that US Air had changed our flight schedule without talking to us and that gave us the right to cancel with a full refund. To us that was a clear sign that God was giving us another chance to back out, and we took it. We had no clue exactly why we weren't supposed to go, just that now was not the time. Once we canceled that flight we felt immediate peace. I knew that there was a reason we were not meant to go this time but had no clue as to why, and I also felt like we would probably never know the reason why but we needed to just trust in God's plan and not our own.

You know when we were supposed to leave? Next week. Do you know where Reese is now? Here. Can you imagine the added stress that trip would have been on everyone if we hadn't listened and stepped away? Reese wouldn't have felt free to come be with her sister, which is exactly where she needs to be right now.

I do not believe that this is all one huge coincidence. I believe that God was attempting to tell us at the very beginning that this was not the time. I believe that He speaks when I am quiet enough to listen through that small voice. The trick is I have to shut up to hear it, and I'm afraid I don't do that enough. I am thankful that this time He dumped enough signs in front of me to figure it out and that it freed all of us up to do what we need to be doing right now which is being available to Reese and her family in every way we can.

This was a big lesson to me. It clearly shows that I'm still not listening and responding like I should be. Thankfully He doesn't give up on us, He loves us enough to keep dropping circumstances that change and mold us if we let them.

My Teapot is Not a Treasure, and a Few Other Things

2009-02-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

Reese will be here anytime, at least that is my guess. I haven't heard anything since about 6:00 p.m. last night and I'm assuming that no news is good news. She is going to be stuck at the chaos of my house, which actually should be fun. I hope we can be a good distraction for her as she is helping her sister through this ordeal.

I am also hoping that even though my teapot is not a treasure that she will be able to drink out of it :) I think I better clean it before she gets here though, that looks like dust! I thought I would show you guys a few of my walls that are finished. I gave you a little preview on this post.

Here is my castle wall:

This is a close up of one of the castle ruins we got to explore while I was in Germany visiting Reese. It's called Manderscheid and it's amazing.
This is a door that was across this little courtyard from Reese's house. I instantly fell in love with this door and always knew I wanted to do something with it. When I first blew it up my hubby thought I was crazy, now he really loves it. So do I!

Here is our Home Is Where Your Story Beings Wall. It has all the special people on it that are helping shape my kids' lives, and a few that have shaped mine and Dan's lives as well. I am so thrilled with how this turned out. Now, when I get those little special snapshots, I can just go switch out a few pics and keep it constantly changing.

Please be praying for Reese when she gets here. Please pray for health, for strength, peace and wisdom. I know she deeply appreciates your prayers and support.

My Tea Time Treasures

2009-02-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Heather showing off her beautiful signs and pictures prompted me to do something I've been intending to get to for awhile: posting pictures of my newest tea pots and the like. My favorite is still this one, which I found in Heidelberg, Germany. We were eating at a traditional German restaurant on the walkplatz when I realized there was a tea shop directly across the street. While we waited for our dinner to come, I browsed through the store and chose a couple of things to beg Tim to get me for my birthday! This tea pot and warmer are my favorite:

As a going away gift, my friend Jasmine gave me this pot, which turned out to be a coffee pot. My English friends set me straight when I called it a tea pot; apparently tea pots are short and squatty, while coffee pots are taller and slender. This one has a very retro feel and is German as well:

This is one I just got within the past two weeks. I love tea pots with tea light warmers underneath, so I did an eBay search for them and came up with this one right away. It was called a "Princess Tea Pot" of glass and brass. It is very elegant and unusual. Here it is with tea in it:

That same eBay search helped me to find this Japanese pot with warmer that had been purchased in Japan and never used. It came in the original box and the handle had never even been attached. It came with six matching cups.

This is one of my favorite recent finds. I was walking downtown in my town, on the river walk where there are many "charity shops". These are like the Salvation Army stores, only they each raise money for specific charities, such as cancer research. In the window of one of them was this milk and creamer set, priced at only three pounds (about $5.). It's lovely, and very me- though I do say so myself! Note: that's oat milk, that's why it looks a bit dingy!

About a mile from my house is a Garden Centre, which led me to believe that if I was gardener it might be a place I'd like to go. Then a friend told me she'd been to the coffee shop inside the garden center! Upon closer inspection, I discovered so much more than plants and potting soil: they have fish, birds and rodents, the coffee shop, books, candles, gifts of all sorts, place mats and coasters, tea sets... so much I was overwhelmed. Here was my one purchase:

The one picture I really, really, really want to post is one of Heather from my trip back home at Christmastime. Unfortunately, I left my camera with that picture on it at my in-laws' house. Fortunately, I'm going back in a few days and can post it from the comfort of Heather's home. Won't that be fun!

A Sneak Peak

2009-02-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

My house is in shambles, total disarray. Every day we try and get something more done. This has been just like an actual move. There are a few things that we have put together and stuff that I am loving. Here is a sneak peak of a few of my favorites

This is a tile that my coworker made. She gave it to me as a Christmas present and it's the first thing you see when you walk in the door.

This isn't a very good picture but it shows the stand the tile is sitting on.
Here is a picture that I blew up to 12 x 18 of one of my favorite castles in Germany. I also have another picture of castle ruins that should be here by Saturday and a picture of a very old door that was across the courtyard from Reese's house in Germany. I'm going to hang them all together and will post a pic of them when they are all up.

This wall is an idea I got from another blog I visit. It's large magnetic boards from Ikea for photos. When the wall is complete we will have six boards up and I bought a huge sign to go over them that says "Home is Where Your Story Begins"

This is a collage that's going up in our bedroom. I'm in love with it. I think it turned out amazing!

Here is a sign that hangs above our bed.

Our bed...I love it!

There ya go. A few of my new favorite things. Once the house is actually finished, I'll take better photos.